Eight wild ties - the perfect touch, now.
For Christmas it's - strangely a deal..
Ties made to last - they feature a bass.
Six-fifty, that's really a steal.

Stereos - There's seven I've found,
With Dolby - some with wrap-around sound.
I'm regaled - by Christmas sales.
This season, I'm shopping mall bound.

Six toupees - buy ten and save.
Free shipping - if you buy today.
Five pink sweats - all sized Triple X,
A bargain on cardigans, oh!

Four white minks - best when you plunk down,
Twelve payments - stretched over a year.
She will enjoy - these bright Diamonoids.
So shiney - they almost look real.

Mismatched socks - just three left in stock.
Gift wrap them - put 'em all in a box.
Nowhere is - a pair to be found,
And sales clerks who - are just standing around.

One ascot - for sale on the floor.
So I got my ascot by the door.
Eight hours fly - and as I checkout,
I find that they've - closed my accou-ou-ount . . .