In Denny Crane there is a Shatner shoving bloated ass
Into a girdle as he grimaces and groans
Then William Shatner makes sure his show... "Boston Legal", blows...

William Shatner plays a lawyer who's a superstar
The other actors laugh at him behind his back
But so what if Shatner can-not act?
He's a famous name - and he's strange

Denny Crane has Shatner's ears and Shatner's eyes
He's the sleazy "Boston Legal" guy
He smirks, and, meanwhile back

In Denny Crane there is a D.J. who's from Canada
And at his home he has a hair-piece and a mare
He likes to keep himself sequestered there
In nerd hairy air

(instrumental)

Denny Crane has William's ears and William's eyes
Prima donna "Boston Legal" guy
Bill's ego, screams "I'm back!"

Behind the Nielsen ratings all the sponsors shout about
It's Captain Kirk who's selling schlockiness today
And though he feels as if he's in a play
He's stiff anyway

As Denny Crane, Shatner behaves like a tough customer
But he's a wanker to his former Star Trek kin
Mister Sulu - George Takei - will grin
Saying "Bill's a pain - and he's strange!"

Denny Crane has Shatner's ears and Shatner's thighs
Strapped-up girdled hair-pieced actor guy
Pants split if Bill leans back

Denny Crane is full of narcissistic pride
Not much of a stretch for James T. Wide

Denny Crane!