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Song Parodies -> "Facts, Ma'am"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Facts, Ma'am"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This appears to be the first "Dragnet" parody on the site.
Victim: Let me tell you 'bout who robbed me.
Two hundred pounds, 'bout six-foot-three.

Sgt. Joe Friday: Are those the facts, ma'am?
Are they the facts, ma'am?

His gun, was it big? Was it small?
The robber, did he take it all?
Now, just the facts, ma'am.
Yes, just the facts, ma'am.

Did he drive a car? What was the make?
Did you see him leave? Drive toward the lake?
Did he take some food? Sandwich or cake?
Did he have a beard? Or was it fake?

Facts, ma'am!
(guitar break)

Don't tell me that he made you cry
(Uh-huh, Sergeant Friday!)
if you want me to get that guy.
(Uh-huh, Sergeant Smith!)
I want the facts, ma'am.
Yes, just the facts, ma'am.

It might help me to get this guy...
(Facts, ma'am!)
What was the color of his eyes?
(Facts, ma'am!)
Now, just the facts, ma'am.
Yes, just the facts, ma'am.
'Cause I work for the L.A.P.D.
(Facts, ma'am!)
(guitar fades us out)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Very cute, Michael :-)
alvin rhodes - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
TOO !@#$%^ funny, michael....i can just see jack webb deadpanning his way through this....thanks for the laugh....big 5s
Paul Robinson - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, Good job, and that's a "fact" man...Five's...HEY, Alvin...What about having Harry Morgan's character (wasn't it "Bill Gannon") playing the lead guitar behind Sgt. Friday, maybe doing a little "Blues Brothers" dance step?
Johnny D - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Your name is Pacholek. You carry a badge. Badge Number 555.
martha - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
very funny 5s
ParodyKeet - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
It would be a crime not to give you 5's on this. Good work!
David Chrenko - March 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This is the city . . . Am I . . . a lot of people vote here . . . but if they vote you 1's, that's where I come in. Name's Friday . . . GOOD Friday . . . I carry the 5's.
The Great Karlando - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
This might be my favorite parody that you've done. Good job dude. 555
Paul Robinson - October 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Michael, I had forgotten all about that comment...yeah, this was a funny piece...liked it...gonna fill in some "5's" since you lost all the earlier votes in the "Great Amiright Vote Total Crash of 07/28" (2004)...
Rex - January 09, 2007 - Report this comment
So I just had this brilliant inspiration to write a "Taxman" parody called "(Just the) Facts Ma'am", and I do a lookup on AmIRight to find that once again Michael has been there before me. This is awesome!
Professor Incubus - January 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I don't know why anyone could give you ones across the board for this. It must have been a big time beatles fan who thought that doing any parody of a beatles song is blasphemous. I think it's great! 555
Porfle Popnecker - May 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Great Dragnet tribute! Jack Webb might even crack a smile.

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