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Song Parodies -> "You Can't Wear That"

Original Song Title:

"You Can't Do That"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"You Can't Wear That"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Presenting my second annual Bjork Awards for worst Oscar fashion. For the first awards, see "Don't Wear That Gown."
Miss Johansson seems confused about her Oscar outfit.
It's a sea-green dress, but of course, isn't her name Scarlett?
Young girl, you let me down (let me down)
and left me flat! (Yeah, you let me down and left me flat!)
Because I told you before, oh, you can't wear that!

That's the second time that outfit's worn by Diane Keaton.
After all these years, the Annie Hall look is such a sin.
She's got the wide lapels (wide lapels)
and bowler hat! (got the wide lapels and bowler hat!)
Diane, I told you before, oh-whoa, you can't wear that!

Uma's puffy, that's not an outfit that I love.
And Faye's looking stuffy.
Hey, Miss Dunaway, your clothes are off base!

Oh, some sets of breasts don't appeal to a man!
We don't wanna see that much of Lainie Kazan!
Her neckline plunged way down (plunged way down)
and she ain't flat! (neckline plunged way down and she ain't flat!)
Lainie, I told you before, oh, you can't wear that!

(instrumental break, interrupted by four exclamations of
"You can't wear that!")

And Double-O-Seven
this time Sean's legs are covered up.
Because last season
came out in a kilt, played it to the hilt!

Oh, please, Kelly Lynch, no more blue Zac Posen.
That see-through outfit, why is that, you've chosen?
Diane Lane let me down (let me down)
I can see through that! (Yeah, she let me down, I saw through that!)
I miss your dress from last year!
This one? You can't wear that!
And, of course, Catherine Zeta-Jones' dress was wrinkled...wait, no, her dress was fantastic, as were its contents. It was her DATE that was wrinkled! Come on, even old man Clint looks younger!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael - Well, looks like this parody is going to be dressed up to the "Fives" for this affair. Nice job.
Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Liv Tyler was a sultry piece of Lembas Bread, haaawwwrrrooowwwrrrrrr.
alvin rhodes - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
the oscar for best parody concerning fashion goes to.......michael
Birgitta - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
This is great Michael.I remember that "swan thing" Bjork wore once,lol. Personally,I think her face insulted the swan..
LucidLupin LeeBee - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Came to read your version... good job ;) 5's

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