I heard the news today, oh boy
Another evil witch has shown her face
And though I'd like to punch the hag
I'm just a peasant man
Not meant for hero crap

A magic duel? Another farce
Because those wizards never learned to aim
And since our pockets are quite bare
My wife is still a horse
"Can she speak" Well, since magic's involved, the answer is "of course"

I saw a nymph today, oh boy
She told me that her magic could un-horse
My poor wife, desp'rate, said "okay"
I knew there was a hook
Have to find a book
Written by leprechauns

Don't want to take a trip
To where gnomes and such exist
On the one hand, they're not caked in dung
But what is not so fun is they're insane
Talk in loads of riddles that
As a pleb, I cannot hack
Still at least the cure don't need a toe
From a griffon or a great dragon, I'd get creamed

Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

An av'rage Saturday, oh boy
An epic quest to find an elven ear
Perhaps a set of dwarven balls
Before the deadline falls
And my wife will have to live her life inside a stable stall
It's how this world goes on