I read my chart today oh boy,
I'm not a lucky man, it's plain to see
a rectal probe , it just sounds bad,
will I get laughing gas,
before they probe my ass?

on my right leg there is a scar,
I only hope I get my dressing changed
don't want to look, I turn away,
I've not done this before
nobody has told me I would look like
something from the war...

I saw the films today oh boy,
the xrays say my leg's lost ten degrees
but I saw three knees, there that day,
and I just had to look,
which one was in that hook???
my drugs to turn me.o-o-o-ooo-ooonnon-n-n-n-n-n-n-n


woke up, from surgery,
in a room, recovery,
found some water there and drank a cup,
and looking up, I didn't feel too great
grabbed the nurse and grabbed the doc,
and I asked how is my C**k?
I was rolled upstairs and then I spoke,
is my thing broke? is this a bad dream?

I read the chart today oh boy,
they got me up for some psychology
although my brain cell's rather small,
they want to count them , see
now they know how many cells it takes to
write a parody
I'd love to, just go oo-o-o-o-o--n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-