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Song Parodies -> "Yellow Card Machine"

Original Song Title:

"Yellow Submarine"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Yellow Card Machine"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

In the last year, my former antipathy toward soccer (or "football," as most of the world calls it) has been wiped out by a newfound passion for it. "Yellow Submarine" is one of the most frequently-parodied songs by British football fans. As far as I know, this guy hasn't had it done before, but he deserves it. Last season, officiating the Wales derby between Cardiff City and Swansea City (the favorite team of my beloved Catherine Zeta-Jones), a member of Cardiff's notorious hooligan firm, the Soul Crew (the original members loved soul music), threw a coin at Dean and hit him in the head. That's just wrong, but I understand why he did it. A yellow card is given for a minor infraction. A red card is given for a major infraction -- real or imagined, as Dean often does. A second yellow in one game is treated as the equivalent of a red: Either gets you thrown out of the game and suspended for at least the next game in that competition. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Dean_(referee)
In a town on Merseyside
lives a man who's named Mike Dean.
He's a dodgy referee
and a yellow card machine.

So I watched the Arsenal
take the pitch onto that scene.
But the yellow card was waved
by that yellow card machine.

We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.

And the Spurs, they cheer this on.
Many more of them will fail to score.
So down to ten men we will play:

(Dean's whistle replaces the OS' brass band)

We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.

(The OS' song effects are replaced by those often heard "on the terraces."
Most of which I can't post here because they're profane.)

And as we sit (and as we sit)
here in the pub (here in the pub)
every one of us (every one of us)
sees call he'll flub (sees call he'll flub)
Language blue (language blue)
and we get mean (and we get mean)
at this yellow (at this yellow)
card machine! (card machine, ha-ha!)

We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
We're all zapped by a yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
A yellow card machine.
(repeat 'til fade)
Last season, Dean refereed a game in which he sent an Arsenal player off in the 37th minute, and for the rest of the 90-minute (plus "injury time") match, Arsenal had to play with 10 men instead of the usual 11 against arch-rival Tottenham Hotspur. The final score was 0-0. How many Spurs players does it take to score on 10 Arsenal players? Apparently, more than 12, because Dean was their 12th man that day! The useless bastard! (To use a phrase common to English football fans.)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
This proves P.T. Barnum's assertion that there's a "soccer" born every minute. This is World (Cup) Class. Way to go! ;D
Fiddlegirl - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
There are few things that get people more excited than their favorite sports teams! I liked the depiction of the fans in the pub, swearing at the TV. :)
Andria - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Not into soccer, but this parody was excellent. 5s.
Mark Scotti - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Penalty at 5:55 of the second half!!! LOL Great one!
Max Power - July 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Zidaned it 555 times

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