Excellent, full of meaning.

Very good Lionel, except Memory has 3 syllables and Penny has 2. And removing a syllable from Memory (Mem'ry) looks a bit weird me, hence 4 for pacing.

Jason, actually I think you're off base on that call. As long as the imposed contraction works with the pacing and would sing through cleanly I don't see a reason not to use them in a piece. In some places around the world people (including some folks in Great Britain, where the Beatles were from, you know) say words structured like "Memory" with a contracted emphasis. Anyway, that's my 2 cents + on that. BUT, Lionel...you do have a pacing problem here...it's just one place, but you missed the mark on your line with the "...spider spinning cob-webs...". It's got way too many syllables to match up with the OS. 18 as opposed to 14. Buttinsky that I am I would suggest "Up in the attic spider spins cob-webs on ornaments" It matches the 14 OS syllables and when sung it has that same nice "bouncy" element the OS lines have in this song. It happens that when I did a piece with this OS I remember nearly doing the same type of thing in that place. So I'm giving you a "4-5-5" for that. I really love the story here, though...Your song really has a great feel for "memories"...and you picked a perfect OS to express that in, what with "Penny Lane" having the sound and feel we associate with songs from a particular bygone era. You fix that one line and this is a fantastic piece.

i like the feel of this one

Please please PLEAZE insert some jokes in your next parody, Lionel. Sometimes, jokes are too sophisticated for my crude brain to register them immediately, but I read this one over, and over, and backwards and shuffled it around and it didn't score with me. So a 1 for funny, but ain't them the breaks?

Contracting "memory" to 2 syllables is perfetly fine with me; most OSs that have "memory" as a lyric are sung that way anyway, just like "every" is almost always sung as 2 syllables (exceptions "The Boxer" and "Crimson and Clover" come to mind). I agree with Paul on the line he mentioned as not scanning, and this didn't quite hit "profound" with me, so 445 is my vote.

FWIW, it depends on how the music is written whether one sings "mem-Ry" or "Mem-OR-Ry". The music calls for a 2-beat word or words to fill the space, and that's how Lionel wrote it. That being said, there are other pacing issues, as Red Ant mentions. As to being funny, this is the purposely non-funny parody style, and it works; you would do Adagio proud with this Lionel. 455.