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Song Parodies -> "Hooker, Hooker (The Ballad of Kesha Rose Sebert)"

Original Song Title:

"Sugar, Sugar"

Original Performer:

The Archies

Parody Song Title:

"Hooker, Hooker (The Ballad of Kesha Rose Sebert)"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

No, not a sequel to my classic "Saturday Night With the Floozies." This is me joining the chorus of parodies about the loathsome Kesha Rose Sebert. "We R Who We R"? Okay, first of all, beware of all performers who use "R" for "are" and "U" for "you." Even Prince isn't funky enough to get away with that, at least not with me. Second of all, Ke$ha, we can guess what U R.
(instrumental opening)

Hooker.
Aw, yucky, yucky.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.

Yucky.
Aw, hooker, hooker.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.

I just can't believe that people buy these tunes from you.
(I just can't believe it's true.)
You got all this makeup, and that language, also blue.
(I just can't believe it's true.)

Aw, hooker.
Aw, yucky, yucky.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.

Aw, yucky.
Aw, hooker, hooker.
You are a skanky girl.
And nobody's wanting you.

When I dissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a diss could be.
(I knew how sweet a diss could be.)
You say, "I'm a walking good time"? No, you're not to me.
(In fact, you're a monstrosity.)

Oh, hooker.
(Pour a little soap upon you, honey!)
Aw, yucky, yucky.
(Pour a little soap upon you, baby!)
Not to mention your music's schlock!
(Hey, hey, hey!)
(Pour a little soap upon you!)
Oh yeah!

Oh, hooker.
(Pour a little soap upon you, honey!)
Aw, yucky, yucky.
(Pour a little soap upon you, baby!)
Fourteen minutes of fame, "Tik Tok"!
(Pour a little soap upon you!)
Oh yeah!

Oh, yucky!
Aw, hooker, hooker!
You are a skanky girl!
And nobody's wanting you!

Oh, yucky!
Aw, hooker, hooker!
You are a skanky girl...

(instrumental fadeout)
I realize she's a real rags-to-riches story, but does she still have to wear rags? And for all I know, she might be a nice person. But this past New Year's Eve, she went on "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve," and not only did she not dress up for the occasion (she almost could have done that by accident), but she dropped an F-bomb right in front of Ryan Seacrest. No class at all.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 2
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - April 26, 2011 - Report this comment
This parody has sure got me "hooked" ;-D "Match-up" three 5's for this song! :-)
Rob Arndt - April 26, 2011 - Report this comment
I can't stand Ke$ha, so I agree with you on the whole "garbage chic" wardrobe revulsion as well as all that damn glitter and rainbow color insanity in her videos. Well played, 555.

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