I've a job at Guitarborough Fair
Marley, Page, Chuck Berrydivine!
But I will go insane if I hear
"Smoke On The Water" one more time

Young guys are waiting as I late arrive
(a T-shirt of deepest deep black)
Spotty, pale, long-hairy; they whine
(faces so hollow and tight stone-washed jeans)
"I've just learned all Pete Frampton Live"
(pickups and wah-wahs, the children of Hendrix)
"Can I play 'Stairway' one more time?"
(wondering why sexy girls never call)

Old dude, he thinks he plays like Ol' Slowhand
(he arrives about 12, and then never leaves)
Earns no wage, has barely a dime
(washes T-shirts in blood, sweat and beer)
Great tunes he will slaughter; won't find a band
(he thinks he's mean, but his fly is undone)
Days like these, I want to resign
(he's unawaregot no talent at all)

Ask me to find you a '63 Fender
(technically perfect but lacking emotion)
"Play on stage? I'm very..um..shy"
(generally found in their bedrooms all day)
"I really wanna be a Chili Pepper"
(and playing duff riffs that I wish they had forgotten)
No Led Zepcan't you read the sign?

I've a job at Guitarborough Fair
Marley, Page, Chuck Berrydivine!
But I will go insane if I hear
"Smoke On The Water" one more time

Ergh Ergh Errrgh..Ergh Ergh Ah-ErrrghCAN IT, WILL YA??