Here in darkness, in our bed
You've started sawing logs again
And now the volume just keeps increasing
Wish instead that it was ceasing
But your droning just keeps going on and on
'Til the dawn
I hate the sound of snoring

In restless dreams I still can hear
Motorbikes in second gear
Speedboats racing around my head
And airplanes touching down upon my bed
And I snap awake at the roar of a passing train
Inside my brain
I hate the sound of snoring

And then the walls begin to shake
I feel the floor begin to quake
As the decibels hit their peaks
Glad it's not from your other cheeks
So I'm heading for the sofa in the den
Once again
I hate the sound of snoring

It's a giant pain, but yet
There are jobs that you could get
Imitating a lawnmower
Imitating a leaf blower
Or perhaps a savage chainsaw war
It's all there in your sounds of snoring

Then the neighbors call the police
They just want the noise to cease
As the town hunkers down in fear
Thinking that a tornado's near
And the news says "we think it's an earthquake,
It's registering 6.5 -
So run for your lives"
They don't know it's your sound of snoring