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Song Parodies -> "The Bankster"

Original Song Title:

"The Boxer"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Bankster"

Parody Written by:

Derry

The Lyrics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKjEHfHINQ
I was just a chore boy, loading ore for a-smeltin' gold
And I pondered my existence
As the rocks I'd load were crumbled, chucked in furnaces
So mired in debt
For demands outstripped what my check would clear; was forced to charge the rest
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...

Then they let me go at the factory. I was so poor, unemployed
Told the company's in danger
Of defaulting on their obligations; tumblin' shares
Savings blown, sleazy mortgage underwater
As the nagging weasels phoned
Threats of repossessing ev'rything I owned

Lies and lies, lie la lie lie lie lie lie ...

Losing all my perqs and wages to these crooked effin' slobs
Who enriched their coffers
Just a scum-con by the Board with gilded parachutes
My mood impaired by these slime I sighed were so loathsome
I shook in glum despair
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na

[Instrumental break]

Why, oh why, why wuh why why why why why ...

Oh, I’m laying down on beggar's row soliciting some alms, full of woe
Where the rude dorks spit on victims scarred by bankruptcy, poverty, no more home

At the hearing stands the bankster, smug beside his legal aides
And he's swearing on the Bible that every charge be baseless found
The judge he yells and cries out that this gangster needs to pay:
"Eyes deceiving, lying, thieving;
Let the bankster be arraigned!"
Hmm, hmm, hmm ...

Guy should fry, lie la lie lie lie lie lie ...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   1
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User Comments

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Susanna Viljanen - March 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Well written. I'm neither left nor right, but there is a certain limit where enough is enough, and plutocracy is the most depraved form of tyranny. When the existence of the middle class is threatened, the democracy is on the edge. When psychopaths and narcissists are allowed to lead the economy, the aftermath is usually horrible. Fives.
Patrick - March 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Beautifully phrased and rhymed. You summed up what a lot of people are feeling these days. When I heard the federal reserve was going to keep interest on savings low or non-existent until 2014, I knew then that this whole economic meltdown is choreographed down to the last inflated dollar.
WarrenB - March 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Thoughtful and well written. Liked this a lot.
constitution guy - March 19, 2012 - Report this comment
1974. jimmy carter, barney frank and chris dodd. they decided to buy more votes. they made lenders create low income or stated income or no doc loans. it is even blatently called the sub prime market. basically, when you cant afford to buy, improve your situation and wait it out. not with demoncrats. they forced lenders to hand out risky loans with the promice that the government ( demoncrat at the time ) would back the loans if they default. enter the acorn company and guess who was at the top of it? president odumba. so there you have it. many banks lost $ for years, demoncrats didnt bail them out but now odumba bails out his supporters and contributors while threatening to with hold from the wounded vets, so on. i was a licensed lender, i know. just thought you folks might want to know how demoncrats force companies to play, it's called buying votes. predatory lending questions answered here for free today. you're the lender. you know mr xyz cant pay the loan back. you wanna lend to him? no. you make your cut on him paying you back over a LONG period of time. easy to understand isnt it? demoncrats force lenders to create programs that fail, then create words like predatory lending and the "i'm entitled" folks embrace it, and they charge us and buy more votes from idiot liberal voters. lenders need you to pay the loan in order for them to make $. demoncrat politicians just need to take it from us via laws, for redistribution to entice voters, for as it is written, "to each according to his need, from each according to his ability." marx.
Tommy Turtle, MBA in Finance/Economics; Mortgage Business 18 Years - March 20, 2012 - Report this comment
For a somewhat more scholarly explanation of the crisis, which was indeed caused by POTUS Carter and Clinton, please see:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/williamshakespearehamletlordpolonius0.shtml

Abstaining from voting, as an act of mercy, for repeating populist demagoguery with no knowledge of the facts. ... Yes, bankers did some bad things, but many, they were *forced to do by the Government."

One more quickie: 81% of home foreclosures were on so-called "no-doc" loans. (No documentation of income, assets, etc.) Which is a license to lie on your loan app. Which a lot of people did.

Right above your signature on the loan app is a paragraph that any false or misleading statement or omission is a felony against the United States. So, how many lying borrowers have been imprisoned, or even charged, for this easily-proven felony? AFAIK, *not a single one*. Yet the bleeding-heart media never report this, do they? Why should those who lied to get loans escape the financial and legal consequences of their actions?

Naah, this does deserve a vote. 511 for good pacing and being utterly *wrong* on the facts.
Debon - March 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Turtle, where in the parody above did you infer that this miner had a subprime loan? This sounds like one person's personal tragedy - how could this fact be wrong? And are you saying it is OK for banksters to give out these mortgages because they were "forced" to while they made a lot of profit and were paid a lot in bonuses on these? There are some banks that did not participate in this; have they been put out of business? Are you saying the only blame is with the people who overextended? What about those who bought these mortgages, knowing they were bad, and sold them as investments when they knew there were issues? Is this not fraud? I haven't seen any of these folks arrested either. It seems like all that has happened are gigantic fines against a few investment banks which were well below the profit they made on all this.
constitution guy - March 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Debon - the injustice here isnt if the miner had a subprime loan, i had a subprime loan and paid it off. the injustice is demoncrats always redistributing tax dollars for votes. i was in the industry 8 years and didnt know of any abuse by banks. there were lenders we wouldnt submit a home loan to because they were too ridiculous with their qualifying standards. banks LOSE money when the loan does not get paid. ex- anyone here wanna borrow me $1000? i'll pay it back in two weeks. anyone? too risky right? i blaim the demoncrats for buying votes with tax dollars and forcing the lenders to comply. i blaim anyone who defaults on a loan for the default. if they lost a job, that isnt a purposeful default is it? the requirement to purchase a home is you must be 18, sane, and sober. many took these loans and did not really have the income they claimed.REMEMBER - demoncrats required lenders to take this ridiculous chance. hopefully people wake up and wont vote demoncrats in. when you tell me you gross $2400 a month and i say you've barely qualified, and you lied and know you only make $1400, that's on you. tommy turtle has done this longer than i and probably knows of some bank corruption but the foreclosures are on the demoncrats for trying to make us all equal as they always do. there are exceptions but acorn still is lending, nothing happens to crooked demoncrats, even al franken who won his election by 3000 more vote than what demoncrats had registered, so where do we go since there is no check and ballance system for the left? we quit electing them i hope.
Huh? - March 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Thought I'd seen everything, but now a fictional work is being judged based on its lack of facts. What's next, docking songs for not enough footnotes?
Debon - March 21, 2012 - Report this comment
CG - I am not disputing what you and Turtle are saying. That is just the first part of the fiasco. What I am pointing out is that the economy was hit because after the subprime mortgages were taken out (with instances of these people being told to alter the data to get them), they were purchased by investment banks who split them up into what were called tranches and put into investment vehicles that were graded AAA and sold to unwary investors who counted on the rating to be valid. I have a hard time believing that these investment peddlers did not know these were going to be going south. Also, you had investment banks that had these mortgages buying insurance on these going bad (I wonder why). Again, many people overextended what they could buy thanks to Govt., but without the next step in the game, the game does not go on. I am merely stating that there are more to blame than the people who took out loans they couldn't afford. What astounded me several years ago is that I accompanied my son to talk to the mortgage person when he was trying to get qualified and the first question he asked was if my son wanted a no money down mortgage (he didn't- he had his 20% down ready). This was before any financial questions at all.
Tommy Turtle - March 21, 2012 - Report this comment
"Again, many people overextended what they could buy thanks to Govt., but without the next step in the game, the game does not go on. "

Without the Gov *forcing* the creation of the sub-prime market in the first place (for those not qualified by traditional, time-tested standards), the "game" never starts.

Your character might have had a near-prime loan, with 0 down, or close to it. Plus the fact that for decades, the US has had the lowest savings rate in the industrialized world.
    I was brought up always to have six month's salary in the bank, partly because bankers wanted to see that before granting a home loan, but precisely so that if one were laid off, there was a cushion until new work could be found. That "savings rate" actually dipped below zero (went negative) in 2005, at the height of the Gov-spurred bubble. Even before the current recession, the majority of the populace lives essentially from paycheck to paycheck, with no actual savings reserves, investments, etc. *But* they have the latest I-gadget! Sooo much better!

btw; I read your take; did you *read* mine?

[1]


[1] @ Huh?: When a parody is clearly sociopolitical criticism -- a valid target since the ancient Greeks and Romans -- it had better be based on facts, or it's worse than useless; it perpetuates myth and scapegoating.

"Fiction" is when I write about boffing sheep. ... well, I always "say" that it's fiction... ;-D

Genuine fiction:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean119.shtml
See the difference?

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