Are feeling your life is unfair?
Marshey, Paige, Thromberry And Klein
These attorneys will always be there
You'll be com-pensated in time

Tell us, was your sacro-iliac hurt
(When you rolled down the hill in your revved-up machine?)
Marshey, Paige, Thromberry And Klein
(Trust them, tomorrow, you're king of the town)
This diligent team, with their interns work
(Summons and waivers and writs like a mountain)
Will bring you loads of cash in time
(WE-SUE-4-U is the best phone to call)

Tell us, do you suffer from an aching hand
(From loneliness spent over many late eves?)
Marshey, Paige, Thromberry And Klein
(Relieve the pain when they rev the gears)
They'll indict Jergen's and the porn mags
(Who inspired you to "polish up your gun")
Your cash back will make you feel fine

Are you decrepit, and quite ill from the weather?
(Wind and snow, rainfall by the gallons!)
Marshey, Paige, Thromberry And Klein
Will write court orders for medical bills
To meteorologists, all bound together
(They'll pay for forecasts so inaccurate and rotten)
For these crimes, they soon will be fined

So is your life all cruel and unfair?
Marshey, Paige, Thromberry And Klein
Remember who the victim is here
Just call us, WE-SUE-4-U, try!