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Song Parodies -> "The Wangling Conversation"

Original Song Title:

"The Dangling Conversation"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"The Wangling Conversation"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

We pick up the story near its conclusion …

And he sits on Santa’s plump lap
nodding “… football, yes.” “Oh crap!”
Ralphie realizes, climbing slide
with hopes to override
one unthinking moment’s misspeak
that could nip his Noel joy.
“Red Ryder” he’ll implore
but Santa’ll hear no more
of his wangling conversation
and just boots him down the slide
and ignores his anguished cries ...

And tho’ Mom’s said “What’cha thinkin’, Son?
“Red Ryder your eye’d cost!”
and Old Lady Shields with looks darker
than coal has cruelly tossed
his theme back, where she’d written
“You would shoot your eye out with one!”
in happiness sublime
Christmas morning he says “I’m
glad my wangling conversations
for this shooter and supplies
have afforded me the prize …”

For his dad’s ignored Mom’s natter
and remembered how “Ol’ Red”
was a fav’rite of his own child-
hood and he’s not blind or dead.
So long Ralphie has crusaded,
and he now begs “Mom and Dad! Oh!
I can’t wait to try my hand!”
Mom cries “Danger!” but then soon he,
after wangling conversation,
with his shooter fisted hies
to the porch and shoots out eye …

Bottom Comment: Well, _sort’a shoots out his eye. Fact is, the probable repercussions of losing or breaking their glasses my ’50s kidhood friends who wore’em reported were rather worse than death, much less shooting out an eye (which was , after all, the glasses suggest, defective anyway). -)
(NOTE: The first verse here wittingly, if not wittiy, sacrifices end rhyme overlays to the greater good of storytelling.)

© Stan Hall 12/5/2008

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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alvin - December 09, 2008 - Report this comment
nicely done...captures the poetic angst of the OS quite well
John Barry - December 09, 2008 - Report this comment
This speaks well of your skills.
AFW - December 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent take off on the movie

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