Hello Caffeine my old friend
You've come to wake me up again
Because it's early in the morning
And my eyes are not focusing
And the wheels aren't spinning in my brain
I come again--to get my fix of caffeine

As I'm reaching for my cup
I step on something not picked up
It's that little plastic doggy bone
Why does it feel so good to moan and groan?
Then my eyes are stabbed by the flash of the kitchen light
Man, this ain't right!
Just want my fix of caffeine

And on the kitchen counter I saw
Ten thousand ants, maybe more
Cause it's cold and they wanna be warm
And into the house they swam
So I go to hit them again with that smelly spray
Get out of my way
I need my fix of caffeine

"Fools said I, you do not know
caffeine's so good for the soul
You just zero in on little crumbs
And run around in long columns"
But my words just echoed in my cup
I took a gulp
To get my fix of caffeine

And those reading this all fear
That the ending is not near
So just take this as a warning
When it's early in the morning
You come up with very strange ideas
Before you get your daily fix of caffeine