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Song Parodies -> "Low-Carb Diet"

Original Song Title:

"The Boxer"

Original Performer:

Simon and Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Low-Carb Diet"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

This is my experience of trying one of the low-carbohydrate (ketogenic) diets, Atkins. It is extremely efficient if you have strong insulin metabolism, but it may prove dangerous if you don't know what you are doing. So get yourself familiarized with biochem if you attempt to diet on Atkins.
I was such a fatso, with ten kilos had to go
I had tried so many di-ets with no significant results there for me to see
Low calories,
eating all the bunny food till I really got fed up
Lies of carbs!
Lie la lie,lie,lie,lie lie

When I read about the ketosis I was baffled and confused
how the fats and cabohyrates effect on the hormones in the human endochrine
It's insulin
which stores the extra energy into body lard
and glucagone is the stuff that process will retard

Lies of carbs!
Lie la lie la la la lie!
Lies of carbs!
Lie la lie la la la lie!

So I tried the low-carb diet with the results plain to see
for the first three weeks five kilos - were gone for good and dress size had too reduced
I do declare
there were moments I was pretty scared of how my fat did melt
lie of carbs,
Lie la lie,lie,lie,lie lie

After two months stands a woman with her weight in normal range
and she smiles with happy smile - as her extra fat is gone for good and vanish-ed
Feeling fine,
leaving all the processed food and eating mainly fresh legumes
fish and cheese, as the fast carbs are ill food.

Lies of carbs!
is the thing that makes
the western world obese!
it's the sugar which makes you fat
with such ease!
Dieting is a sports of technique. Various ways work when they suit your endochrine. You only have to find the way which is right to you. Low-carb diets work well on those whose insulin metabolism is high; low-fat diets work for those who have slow insulin metabolism.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   5

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I do declare
This song made me so hungry that I stuffed some food in there
...or something like that. I detect a bit of a fellow-spirit, here: someone who not only writes computer parodies but biochem, too :-)
2Eagle - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Good thought for the day.
Johnny D - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Mmm, donuts...
John Barry - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
A quick snack, the back to the meth lab.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thoughtful (if a tad on the preachy side), well-paced and well-rhymed. Fives all round!
me and nobody else band - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
i never knew how good fattening food was before i heard this song.

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