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Song Parodies -> "The Grounds Of Starbucks"
Original Song Title:
"Sounds Of Silence"
Original Performer:
Simon and Garfunkel
Parody Song Title:
"The Grounds Of Starbucks"
Parody Written by:
Bob Gomez
The Lyrics
Dedicated to Royce Miller (see her "Fix of Caffeine") and all coffee
aficionados.
aficionados.
Hello, dark roast, my old blend
My cup of coffee's brewed again
Espresso, instant, drip or slow-perking
I need your caffeine shot while I'm working
And it jiggles the endorphins in my brain
And remains
Within the grounds of Starbucks
I was a Diet Pepsi ho
Till I had a cuppa joe
When I'm needing to get stoked or amped
They moisten fresh-ground beans till slightly damp
And the fragrances in the oil's volatility
Are set free
I smell the grounds of Starbucks
A restless freak, I walk alone
Captive to my coffee jones
I dream of triple mochacci-nos
Or a vanilla frappacci-no
And some chocolate sprinkles atop my café au lait
Or latté
I'm heading down to Starbucks
On every other block I saw
A hundred people out the door!
I see why Starbucks is the coffee king
They're waiting patiently while I'm freaking!!!
People trading stocks
With cell phones stuck on ear
No one here
Deserts the grounds of Starbucks!
"Fools," said I, "You do not know!
This coffee megamarket blows!
Hear my words about the unfair trade!
Juan Valdez is waiting to get paid!"
But my words
Like flecks of nutmeg fell
And scattered
On the floor
Of Starbucks
And then Starbucks kicked me out
"We'll CALL THE COPS YOU F#@&ING LOUT!!!
We'll give you just one final asswarming!"
And all around me people were swarming!
And they all said "A portion of profits are given to the employees!!!"
Really? Jeez........
I guess that
I was wrong on Starbucks.........
My cup of coffee's brewed again
Espresso, instant, drip or slow-perking
I need your caffeine shot while I'm working
And it jiggles the endorphins in my brain
And remains
Within the grounds of Starbucks
I was a Diet Pepsi ho
Till I had a cuppa joe
When I'm needing to get stoked or amped
They moisten fresh-ground beans till slightly damp
And the fragrances in the oil's volatility
Are set free
I smell the grounds of Starbucks
A restless freak, I walk alone
Captive to my coffee jones
I dream of triple mochacci-nos
Or a vanilla frappacci-no
And some chocolate sprinkles atop my café au lait
Or latté
I'm heading down to Starbucks
On every other block I saw
A hundred people out the door!
I see why Starbucks is the coffee king
They're waiting patiently while I'm freaking!!!
People trading stocks
With cell phones stuck on ear
No one here
Deserts the grounds of Starbucks!
"Fools," said I, "You do not know!
This coffee megamarket blows!
Hear my words about the unfair trade!
Juan Valdez is waiting to get paid!"
But my words
Like flecks of nutmeg fell
And scattered
On the floor
Of Starbucks
And then Starbucks kicked me out
"We'll CALL THE COPS YOU F#@&ING LOUT!!!
We'll give you just one final asswarming!"
And all around me people were swarming!
And they all said "A portion of profits are given to the employees!!!"
Really? Jeez........
I guess that
I was wrong on Starbucks.........
©Bob "I'm Stickin' To Decaf" Gomez 2004
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 11 | 10 |
User Comments
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Really good parody, guess I qualify under all coffee afficianados...I wrote one here..."No Coffee Grounds" (shameless plug). "Sound" in the title really lends itself to "Ground" Good job 5's
Thanks Bob
We have some "Starbucks" freaks here at work. They bought a Starbucks coffee maker and buy the Starbucks blends for big bucks and get amped up on this stuff all day long. These are the guys who run our network. I think they will like your parody, Bob. Going to show it to them. Nice parody - high fives!
Very well done, Bob! I liked the line about Juan Valdez. Can't you just hear him yelling "I Juan to get paid!!!" (sorry) 555!
I've never seen a Starbucks, except on TV. Seriously. But, I drink so much coffee and hot tea, I'm well beyond being just an "afficianado" and found this very, very funny! (Especially got a kick out of the line: "A restless freak, I walk alone")
I love this one. 555!
I really like how closely the parody matches the sounds of many of the original words. Great pacing. The second verse is my favorite! Now, back to my instant Nescafe ;-)
Adagio and Royce: Thanks--any food addiction or craving is good for parody in my book. I can think of more than one term paper and several parodies of mine that were caffeine-assisted. Guy: Thanks, man, let me know how the sing-along went. Loudly, I'm sure. Rod: I appreciate the joke, no worries, dude. Melhi: this song was partially inspired by a walk near NYU in Manhattan recently where there are two Starbucks literally within a block of each other. I'm glad you liked the "restless freak" line. Lozzie: Hi and thanks for reading. Mason: Cheers!--a virtual toast of instant Nescafe (I prefer the Nescafe from Spain and Mexico--it actually tastes better to me for some reason, so I pack it by the pound when I can). Mochas Gracias, all! d;:^)
Agreed on all counts about the punning against the original....you shoot it right out of the box with the first line and never let it go. (mixing metaphors here, sorry) LOL funny! 555
Bob, we agree, we hate that place. (See my "Here, There and Everywhere") Louis Black has a comedy bit where the end of the universe is where one Starbucks is across the street from another. Put there just for memory-
Bob, we agree, we hate that place. (See my "Here, There and Everywhere") Louis Black has a comedy bit where the end of the universe is where one Starbucks is across the street from another. Put there just for memory-disease patients, he concludes. (hit that button by accident again) As long as I have to wait for twit control, when are you playing Espresso? And what kind of reactions are you getting from "Samplin'"? My son liked it.
Bob, we agree, we hate that place. (See my "Here, There and Everywhere") Louis Black has a comedy bit where the end of the universe is where one Starbucks is across the street from another. Put there just for memory-disease patients, he concludes. (hit that button by accident again) As long as I have to wait for twit control, when are you playing Espresso? And what kind of reactions are you getting from "Samplin'"? My son liked it.
Wow! Best Sounds of Silence parody I've ever heard. 555
Bob - Great job! 5's. I don't drink coffee at all anymore, but I used to enjoy it when I drank it slowly while reading the paper in the morning. The work-time cups were "rushed and flushed" for the most part. On the corner of Hawthorne & Torrance Blvds., in Torrance, CA (next to where I used to work until 12/31/03) there is a Starbucks inside the Albertson's Market on the NorthWest corner, one in a strip mall on the SouthWest side, one in the Del Amo Mall, which is on the SouthEast side of the corner, about 1/4 mile from that corner, and another inside the new Barnes & Noble Bookstore, which is also on the SouthEast side of the street - that one is about 1/8 mile from Torrance and Hawthorne. Do you think they have enough Starbucks around that corner?
Hey, Rick, how's it hangin'? I actually like the coffee but hate the homogenization factor of the place. See Paul's comment for how bad it can get in reality. I'm playing Espresso on May 28, about a 20-minute set. Think I should do this song (minus the cussword)? Jan, your comment just boosted my ego from a Grande to a Venti. Paul--I enjoyed your corroboration, glad you liked the song and the sentiment. d;:^)
Judy hates that place. Yeah, I think you should do it, have Denise do the other part. But I didn't quite get the end, it sounds like you're saying something nice about them. How do they share profits? What I see is poor service, you get your own lids and cream, bus your own table, and they have a big tip jar.
this is actually at least the third coffee related sounds of silence parody here... just click on the link for "sounds of silence" on the top and you'll find "pounds of eyelids" by me
search doesn't work... here's the link: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/simongarfunkel5.shtml
Ethan - I think Chucky has the "Search" function and a few other things disconnected so he can do some troubleshooting & maintenance. He put a note on the "news items" page on 4/21 about it.
That is awesomely good, Bob.
This is has three 5's from me waiting! Great job!
A 555 ounce Vente for you, sir!
...and that's what it's all about! Great job.
Hate Starbucks, loved the write.
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