The Boxer,
verse 1
Feeling kinda lonely, bought a boxer for a pet, he'd be company on those nights, when I didn't have the cash to go out drinking,
Being low I'd thought I'd have a good friend that I could teach to beg,
But all he wants to do is screw my leg.
verse 2
Now I've got a plague of molehills, spread across my lawn, made not by moles but my dog, 'cause all he eats just seems to go right through him,
Squatting low, he leaves a pile then moves on to a new patch of my grass,
Then comes inside and licks his balls and arse,

(Chorus as the original song :- lie lie lie etc_)
Verse 3
He just lays around and farts all day until the postman comes, then beats me to the mailbox and leaves me with a pile of paper mache,
Sitting down I truy to sort the pieces out and then he starts to beg,
'Cause all he wants to do is screw my leg,
Verse 4
There's no cats left in the neighbourhood he's tried to hump them all,
He thinks they're dogs like he is and can't quite work out why they won't come near him,
So he farts then comes inside and looks around for something else instead,
And the first thing that he grabs hold is my leg.
( Chorus )
Verse 5
I took him to the vets last month to try to get him fixed, before the vet could see him he'd done two cats, a chipmonk and a tortiose,
After that the vet said he won't treat him cos he's totally off his head,
And before you go please get him off me leg,
Verse 6 (Sad part)
In a graveyard lies my boxer, last week he went too far, he tried to hump a pushbike, two mopeds and a passing Nissan Micra,
Now he's gone, but the molehills of his life, like my limp, linger on,
I only miss him when I sing this song,
repeat chorus to end,