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Song Parodies -> "Goldwater"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I said when I completed my Presidential Parody Project that I wasn't going to do all the Presidential losers. And I'm still not. Even if I have done them for Al Gore, John Kerry, and, sort of, for Adlai Stevenson. But this one was obvious, and, besides, he ran the same year the movie came out.
(instrumental opening)

He's the man who ran back in sixty-four!
Lefties deplore!

He gave no quarter!
LBJ, said Barry, was such a sin!
But did not win!

President, really wanted the job!
In the Kremlin's men's room, said he'd lob
little prize, a bomb, kind that is nuclear...

'Twas the kiss of death
it's so clear!

Pretty girls
who'd voted for JFK
won't go his way!

Way back then, he inspired some fear.
Times did change, now conservatives here!
And their golden rules, they've got themselves several!

Compared to them
even Barry's liberal!

Towards the end
of his life, lots of folks he'd told
out they had sold!
They loved only gold!
What he told!
They loved gold!
Minds of mold!
They loved gold!
"A man who will not be honest with his country is no damn good in my book!" -- Barry Goldwater, on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," November 1993. I've got it on tape. Jay had asked him about Richard Nixon. If only Barry had lived to see George W. Bush make a mockery of his beloved conservative movement.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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alvin - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
barry good !
2Eagle - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
That was when the Republicans were the moderates and Democrats were flaming liberals.
John Barry - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Love his first name. Today's dreck makes Barry look pretty sane.
Dylan Baranski - September 23, 2007 - Report this comment
It seems you've got a monopoly on this song & on "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald".
MrMacphisto - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
If you look at Barry policy wise, he was one of the last true conservatives in the leadership of the Republican party, but nowadays, his viewpoint would be considered Libertarian. Ever since the Religious Right hijacked the Republican Party, so-called conservatives no longer stand for small government. Libertarians seem to be the only people who do anymore...
Andria - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Did you know that there was once a Barry Goldwater soft drink? I have an unopened eight-pack of "Gold Water: The Conservative Drink", it was made by the now-defunct White Rock company, it is in gold cans with red, white, black and blue trim, and no, I am not selling at any price. I just thought that a little bit of Goldwater minutiae would be good to have.
Darrell Wilhelm - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Andria, this bit of Goldwater trivia is for you. Barry Goldwater was known to shave with creamy-style peanut butter while camping.
Tommy Turtle - September 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Michael, I have to admit that this was much better than I was expecting :) CSpan recently had a show with BG's granddaughter, pitching her documentary.... He had openly disavowed the "neo-con" movement, the extreme religious right, homophobia, etc.... He once said something to the effect that gays have served honorably in the military since at least the time of Julius Caesar (hey, what about Alexander?), and that "You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you only have to shoot straight". .... MrMacphisto called it correctly in every way: Goldwater was a libertarian.

Dylan Baranski, (cough) uhh, (cough)

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