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Song Parodies -> "Cold Player"

Original Song Title:

"Goldfinger"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"Cold Player"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Not to be confused with the members of the band Coldplay. This is for the wimps in Chicago, Detroit and Cleveland, cities I once considered tough, because they cancelled baseball games. Not due to snow, but to cold. In New York, we played.
(instrumental opening)

Cold Player!

He's the man
the man with the minus-10!
He froze again!

Not a bold player!
Beckoned him
to enter the stadium!
He's such a bum!

Cold was feeling in our ballpark's air.
And the skies, he realized it ain't fair!
It was flurries, snow, freezing his keister.
He could see his breath!
Could Mister

Cold Player!
Frozen to
his neck was his chain of gold!
This guy is cold!

Such a wimp, he ain't playing this game.
Going to the freezer of Hall of Fame.
And his golden girl, weather has iced her.
He could see his breath!
Could Mister

Cold Player!
Frozen to
his neck was his chain of gold!
This guy is cold!
He ain't feeling bold!
He's so cold!
He chose to fold!
He's so cold!
He can't hold!
He's so cold!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 2.2
Overall Rating: 2.2

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 14
 14
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   17
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Don't know about Detroit and Chicago, but the Cleveland game was cancelled due to snow...in fact, the whole series with Seattle had to be dumped....good seasonal theme, here..very well done
Urbina - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
MY CAREER'S RUINED!!!!
Michael Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Urbina's the greatest pitcher ever!!!
The Real Michael Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Maybe the greatest pitcher ever to go to jail. We know it wasn't my evil twin Bernard who posted the above two asinine comments, because he would've posted under his real name. He may be evil, but he's no coward.
The Real Michael Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
URBINA'S AWESOMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Urbina - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
THEN WHY RAT ON ME???
Michael Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll write a parody on how great Urbina is!!!
John Barry - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Chain frozen to neck--that verse is a home run, or is that a Nome run?
Bernard Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Look, bozo, whoever you are, I'm the only split personality Mikey's allowed to have. And, Barry, don't encourage my little brother. I'm beggin' ya. Just give him the cold shoulder.
alvin - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
you're absolutely right..i say strap on the snowshoes and let 'er rip
Michael Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Aw, you've done it now, Alvin. You just gave me an idea for a new parody. Tune in tomorrow for a little exploration of Eskimo love. And, John, humor like yours is my anchorage.
Michael Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Urbina rules!!!
Bernard Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
If he ruled, he would be a Met, now, wouldn't he? Chump. (Him and you. My little brother doesn't need your help in looking like a fool.)
Bernard Pacholek - April 10, 2007 - Report this comment
I like spam.

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