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Song Parodies -> "Ban the Pit Bull"

Original Song Title:

"San Francisco"

Original Performer:

Scott MacKenzie

Parody Song Title:

"Ban the Pit Bull"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I know several people who's lives have been drastically affected by this powerful, aggressive type of canine. They account for 6% of dog breeds and 65% of deaths and mauling, many children and family members. Animal lovers defend them in droves, but the fact is we could avoid 30 deaths a year with Breed Specific Legislation, not counting all the animal and livestock deaths. Any reconstructive surgeon will attest to the horrible damage done by these beasts, which despite the cute monicker of "Nanny Dog", they do not belong anywhere near a child. 999 out of 1000 won't "harm a fly" but there is no predicting which one will go off like a bomb despite love and training. I would not want my child to pick from a candy bowl where "just one out of a thousand" is poisoned.
BAN THE PIT BULL (Parody of San Francisco)

Movement growing to Ban the Pit Bull
For those who use a dog that’s like a bear
Should be voting to Ban the Pit Bull
Don’t wanna meet a pet that’s a nightmare

For those who will not Ban the Pit Bull
Ticking time-bomb is what you’ve got there
On the streets, you fans of Pit Bulls
One bad day, and he’ll remove your hair

All across the nation
Watch evisceration
Canine devotion
While facing litigation
There’s a good explanation
Canine devotion
Canine devotion

For those too dumb to Ban the Pit Bull
Be sure to get insurance up to there
If you’re scum that stands for pit bulls
Bummer time for you and all you scare

I know this is going to stir up some people, but I invite you to look at dogs bite.com and see the facts

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Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
The breed has a better temperament now, but blame it on the Irish during the Industrial Revolution that worked in Britain. They started the brutal dog fighting with this breed for cheap entertainment. Btw, the Pit Bull isn't anything compared to the Serbian SDD (Serbian Defensive Dog) which is stronger that a PB and is trained to attack people and animals on command. In the Balkans, the Serbs tried to unleash a pack of them on German soldiers with Lynx protection. The Lynx gunner with MG-3 turned them into hamburger in seconds! The Heer killed these dogs on sight. They are banned in most nations.
Susanna Viljanen - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Another similar killer fog is fila brasileiro, which is a prohibited breed in Finland. It was originally bred to hunt runaway slaves in Brazil.
JAB - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Right on! Amen! Welcome back!
Rob Arndt - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
I remember the stigma of owning a Doberman in the '70s and a Rottweiler in the '80s! That went away, but the Pit Bull image and temperament problem persists. I live in Cali, so even homeless have Pits for protection.
Rick Duncan - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Rob, Susanna, I have no doubt you are correct, but those dogs are not promoted by shelters and defenders in America as "safe family pets". Shelters are full of them so they promote the heck out of them and almost give them away to families. Then tragedy strikes. Even responsible owners can't control them, they are too powerful and unpredictable. Who really needs a bazooka when a can of mace will do? Every day the news has some horror story of a person or animal attack, and look at the picture of the attacker? Most of the time a Pittie. 36 deaths last year.
Claude Prez - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Haha the one day a year I pop by and look who's here? Good to see you still writing! And of course as a mailman I approve this message wholeheartedly -- good stuff
Rick Duncan - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
HI Claude! Good to hear from you. I was a lineman for many years. You still writing? Of course! Can't keep a down man good!
Jonathan - April 01, 2016 - Report this comment
oh for a second I thought you were talking about banning Pitbull the rapper banning either one's a winner for me I mean I'm a dog-lover and all but... sheesh gimme a break! 5's
Peter Andersson - April 02, 2016 - Report this comment
As a devoted jogger/runner I've had my share of close encounters with the barking unkind, luckily not ever bitten bad, but circled and herded by a bigmouthed loose sheep dog has to rank up there with dogs-out-of-control episodes. (And no, I wasn't at the time doing research for one of my sheep shagging parodies, he-he).

The general problem seems to lay with stupid owners who don't understand the difference between themselves being seen by their dogs as pack leaders, and everyone else being their own potential pray. The amount of stupid people out there who shouldn't be allowed to have dogs, or breed themselves for that matter, is astonishing!
Rob Arndt - April 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Attacked by a Vallhund were you? LOL!!!
Patrick - April 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Saw a story on TV about a woman in San Francisco who was killed by a Preso Canario, another misbegotten breed kept as a status symbol by lowlifes. I've had a lifetime of bad experiences with dogs. Fortunate never to have been bitten. Always carry a gun when walking. The KCK Police have Belgian Malinois. Cops say they will run themselves to death to attack someone. They will even bite their own handlers. Other cops are scared of them. They have been told not to shoot the dog if it bites them. Screw that! Bad dogs usually have bad owners, but they are also creatures of instinct. A lot of people mistakenly attribute human characteristics to them. Of course, a lot of people act on instinct rather than reason, too.
Story - April 02, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, you are probably referring of Diane Whipple's case who was killed by two Presa Canario, owned by a couple who are psycopaths. You can learn more about this very telling and chilling case on Youtube under "American Justice, the San Francisco mauling".
Rob Arndt - April 03, 2016 - Report this comment
Interesting dog story: http://strangevehicles.greyfalcon.us/Krieghund.htm
Ssuanna Viljanen - April 04, 2016 - Report this comment
I must confess I am a dog lover. (And cat and horse lover too.) I have had a dog, a cat and a snake as a pet, and I must say there are two great risks having a dog: a) the dog has an inherent psychological character flaw and b) the owner is irresponsible. Most dog bites are due to b) and usually small fifis and pooches whom their owner have no control over. People tend to underestimate "nice" and "small" breeds. But there are indeed really dangerous and problematic breeds, and pit bull is one of them. Pit bull and fila brasileiro are prohibited in Finland (too many character-flawed dogs), while American Staffordshire terrier (same breed as pit bull but different lineage) is legal. Amstaff and pit bull are very demanding dogs, and certainly not suitable for any light-hearted owner. Rottweilers are very popular in Finland, as the Finnish lineage is very docile, and as amputating the tails and mutilating ears has been prohibited, now only serious dog-owners will have Rottweilers and Dobermanns as pets. I grew up seeing only bob-tailed Dobermanns and Rottweilers with cropped ears: now as those doggies have their full tails and ears, they are incredibly beautiful dogs and not scary at all.

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