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Song Parodies -> "Not Yet"

Original Song Title:

"Claudette"

Original Performer:

Roy Orbison

Parody Song Title:

"Not Yet"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

I don't think Roy encountered this problem with Claudette. :-)
Scroll down to OS title here for a midi.
Well, my girl’s a staunch abstainer and it’s understood
I’m gonna have to wait while to I whittle my wood.
She gets me so I’m dyin’ to live the little death
and then she hollers “Slow down, man, are you speeding on meth?”

Not yet … first we kiss and pet … not yet!
Ever the coquette … not yet!
Her formula of foreplay has first gotta be met --
skip a step you bet she’s gonna holler “Stet!”[1]
Not yet! Whoa, slow, not yet! Hey, wait, not yet!

It’s crazy-makin’ to be braked at passion’s height
“Not yet” she says when what she means is “not tonight.”
And if some day she doesn’t make me wait any more,
I hope the f*ck that follows will be worth waitin’ for.

Not yet … first we kiss and pet … not yet!
Ever the coquette … not yet!
Her formula of foreplay has first gotta be met --
skip a step you bet she’s gonna holler “Stet!”
Not yet! Whoa, slow, not yet! Hey, wait, not yet!

Before my my never-lovin’ love says “Now!” to me
I bet I’ll be a member of AARP.
I’d put my blade away but there’s no sheathin’ my knife
(or stabbin with it, either!) Man, frustration is rife.

Not yet … first we kiss and pet … not yet!
Ever the coquette … not yet!
Her formula of foreplay has first gotta be met --
skip a step you bet she’s gonna holler “Stet!”
Not yet! Whoa, slow, not yet! Hey, wait, not yet!
[1] Printers' terminology – restore something deleted or retain something marked for deletion.

© Stan Hall 11/15/2008

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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alvin - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
i was trying real hard not to laugh till i was done reading but it just burst out of me halfway through...sorry...great stuff, stan
MadameCoquette - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Stan, ~Mighty Duke 0'Halls~ gentlemanly patience will overcome all, Sir!
Stan - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin (premature e****lation, was it?) and MC (sometimes yes, sometimes no, and sometimes yes, but it wasn't) :-)
AFW - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny scenario...
Dave W. - January 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Hope that when she's ready,she's wet

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