What a drag it is getting old
"I'm a senator today"
And now Libby wants to play
But now he needs something soon to get him up
And though he's not really ill
There's a diamond-shaped blue pill
He goes running for the shelter of his willy's little helper
And it helps him on my way, gets him up so he can play

"Things are different today"
That's what all us old folks say
Being limp all through the night is just a drag
So she buys a bag of toys, and goes out with all the boys
He goes running for the shelter of his willy's little helper
And two helps him on my way, gets him up so he can play

Doctor please some more of these
Outside the door, he took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Men just aren't the same today"
He hears Elizabeth say
"They just lay in bed all day, they're always tired"
"Men, they never satisfy. They just tranquilize your mind"
So go running for the shelter of your willy's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to keep you all upright

Doctor please some more of these
Outside the door, he took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"He's just much too old today"
'Lizabeth was heard to say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will soon be comatose
No more running to the shelter of your willy's little helper
They just helped you on your way through your final dying days