Please allow me to introduce myself
I was a man of wealth and fame
Had a hit show many years ago
Sometimes reruns air today
Shot my wife in a parking lot
My career had faded away
Thank you Barbara (Walters) I'm on prime time again
Even though in jail I sit today
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's confusing you is the question of my shame

Was a football stars many years ago
A two-bit actor, who pitched for Hertz
But my real claim-to-fame
Was stabbing my wife on her front porch
From the cops we raced
In a low speed chase
The L.A.P.D., they ween't catching me
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you, is the question of my shame
Just like certain cops are racist idiots
And defense attorneys, saints
Now it's all over, just call me 'Superstar'
Cause I'm in need of some respect
If you meet me, have some sympathy
After all this, now I'm broke
Please just show me a little courtesy
Even though my golf game's just a joke
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name
But what's bugging you is the question of my shame
Tell me baby, what's my name (whoo-hoo)
Let me tell you honey, I have no shame (whoo-hoo)