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Song Parodies -> "Santa's Little Helpers"

Original Song Title:

"Mother's Little Helper"

Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Santa's Little Helpers"

Parody Written by:

Warren Baker

The Lyrics

Things are not always candy canes and toy trains in Santa's workshop.
What a drag he is
Ho ho ho

“You’re just lazy bums today,”
I heard jolly Santa say
As he cracked a whip our way
We heard him growl

Though we’ll work when we are ill
His sadistic voice’ll shrill
“You just best obey your elder
All you Santa’s little helpers.”

And he said “Go load my sleigh.”
Threw a lump of coal our way.

He is cutting down our pay
And he’s eyeing China’s way
Thinking outsourcing like
Apple can’t be bad

When we move past Christmas date
No vacation can we take
For he locks us in the cellar
All of Santa’s little helpers

And we tried to unionize
But that fat man has his spies

Though we plead
He’ll never heed
Our hands are sore
We sleep on floor

What a drag he is
Ho ho ho

We just filed a suit today
We brought lawyer into fray
Claus just won’t negotiate
Says we are fired

He says elves are greedy types
Says we’re selfish to the tykes
But that red suit’s just a welsher
Loathes his Santa’s little helpers

And we thought we lost the fight
Jury might not see our plight

“Judge, oh please
This guy’s a sleaze
We elves are poor
Bring help to fore.”

Then a fateful twist
Brought us goal

Rudolph took the stand today
Said we elves had good complaint
“They’re enslaved to making gifts
It’s untoward.”

And from the bench, judge he rose
“I now rule this case is closed.
No more treating bad the elfers
Pay your Santa’s little helpers.”

Now we’ve better health and pay
Now it’s Merry Christmas day.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Patrick - December 24, 2013 - Report this comment
The elves are probably striking for a 40 hour week. They want more hours. 30 hours is the new norm.
Anti-Obama - December 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Hey Pat, you're absolutely right and it's all part of the Obama socialism plan for America. Soon 30 hrs and limited part-time will be standard like Europe and we can waste most of our lives letting the government tell us what to do, lazing about smoking hash and complaining by going on national strikes every couple of months!
WarrenB - December 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comment, Patrick. Those silly elves wanting a life.
AO- whatever you say.
AFW - December 25, 2013 - Report this comment
It's about time someone stood up for those little guys,(not including Will Ferrell, who, I believe, is about six-three)
WarrenB - December 25, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW. People forget, Santa would be nothing without the little people who take care of the toys.
littleElftrix - December 26, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice wording, Sir, Cost-of-Parody raises for all !
WarrenB - January 07, 2014 - Report this comment
My apologies for not seeing your comment earlier. Thanks so much and hope your holidays were sufficiently naughty and nice.
Ryan - December 18, 2023 - Report this comment
I'm looking for an old parody similar to this but the hook goes "Oh what a drag it is wearing green". It's over 30 years old and it's kind of a dirty/silly parody. If anyone knows where I can find it, leave a comment.

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