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Song Parodies -> "These Cards Are Marked"

Original Song Title:

"MacArthur Park"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Richard Harris

Parody Song Title:

"These Cards Are Marked"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Cheating! In a card game! Whoever heard of such a thing?
Not one round has passed since these were served
But as I mull my chips
Both the food and poker brand
There's something that I happened to notice
I tried hard to deny it
Was so sure you weren't that bad

These cards are marked, my mood has now been jarred
From the laid-back smoothness we had down
Anybody else in here enraged?
It's our money on the table
But the fairness wasn't stable
Since our host here said that he'd provide the deck
Asshole!

Wasn't done with any subtleness
Marked from two to ace
With a marker neon green
We've all heard of the phrase "to tip your hand"
But this is completely blatant
Plain to see

These cards are marked, to spot it isn't hard
How long 'til you thought we'd work it out?
I've seen better methods, this is lame
Might've taken time to make this
All of seven minutes, eight-ish
This is not a plan, it's barely a concept
Own goal

I won't take another card for me
Because I've had it
While the perpetrator glares at me
You three have blanked it
Don't you care about what's going on?
Deceit! Betrayal! Cheating! All that kind of stuff
And yet I don't see one widened eye
Wanna see just one widened eye at this news, come on

"We knew from the start, you big dumbass"
Wait, what? Confusion
"It's so obvious to those with eyes
We're not deluded
Look, we chose not to be loud out-criers
His advantage is now shared between us five
It ups the tension and skill, we find
Oh, we love tension and skill, that's right, why don't you get a clue?"
I think that I might

These cards are marked, nobody's in the dark
About what one keeps or will put down
Pardon me, but I just think that's lame
You can keep your mad mind-gaming
Because my leave, I'll be taking
And I'll never join in with you guys again
I fold
I fold

And in addition to my spicy hot take that is "cheating is bad, no matter how stupid", enjoy this one: MacArthur Park is a very silly song! Who leaves a cake outside, honestly?

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 5   13
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