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Song Parodies -> "Hamburg"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Procol Harum

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

Hamburg, Germany – well known for its red light district where you find women from all over the world
Your fault you’re single, got no friend…she hacked your togs an’ fled
So you formed a club called “Gash Days”…with the meetings in your shed
The motion for some action…was passed then you made the call
An’ the whore you phoned was splendid…for she serviced one and all

You hooker buffs are flirty…for the booze you downed was strong
You’re gonna take off for Hamburg…for a prostitute from Hong Kong

The big shock is the strumpet ware…tarts rancid, cor, they’re sour
But your friends, they don’t want crack whores…for they’re mingin’, they don’t shower
An’ them whores will all blow any tool…their wares ain’t worth a dime
An’ your horn will need a rudder…to go up through all the slime

Your hooker, duff an’ thirty…but the queues have caused a throng
You’re better off out of Hamburg…for these older ones look like Kong

Your hooker, gruff an’ shirty…but you choose to place your dong
You’re better off out of Hamburg…for this prostitute’s so wrong

Ah, them hooker muffs are dirty…what they ooze will leave a pong
You’re better off out of Hamburg…coz she’ll overflow ‘fore too long
This is the first parody of this single on this site.
If you’re a fan of the 60’s and you’ve never heard this one check it out on Youtube
(Watch the black & white video – Beat Club promo) – absolutely fantastic.
And watch out for a very young Robin Trower on guitar

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leo Keough - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Good job on the syllable matching rhymes, something I always appreciate!!!...555!!!
alvin - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
love it...big fan of all things procol....keith reid would dig your rewrite
Mark Scotti - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Great choice of song, Andy! Great sub as well.. They charged you 555 for this.
AFW - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Tellin' it like it is...good one
Andy Primus - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Leo, Alvin, Mark & AFW
Tommy Turtle - May 08, 2009 - Report this comment
I DK this -- just called my travel agent and changed my summer holiday plans. Thanks for the tipoff, and OMG, did you just give me an inspiration for a spinoff! Take 555 condoms with you, and look for a credited follow-up next week!
Andy Primus - May 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks TT
Susanna Viljanen - May 11, 2009 - Report this comment
This is a quite difficult song to parodize, 555. Procol Harum was the first progressive rock band, and it really hasn't gone sour with time.
Andy Primus - May 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Susanna

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