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Song Parodies -> "Gingrich: Secret Liberal"

Original Song Title:

"Love Me, I'm A Liberal"

Original Performer:

Phil Ochs

Parody Song Title:

"Gingrich: Secret Liberal"

Parody Written by:

Hu's On First

The Lyrics

I have a feeling Newt Gingrich's status as the GOP frontrunner isn't going to last very long, for the reasons described in this parody.
He says he's against gay folks' marriage
And that he's pro-life
He thinks love is a man and a woman
Just ask his first, third, or second wife
He believes in traditional values
And drums to Pat Robertson's fife
But Gingrich, Gingrich, he's a secret liberal

He agreed with Ms. Hillary Clinton
When the subject of health care was meant
He teamed up with the Reverend Al Sharpton
On school policies for our stu-dents
And he has flip-flopped more times than Mitt Romney
Yet Rush thinks the man's heavensent
Oh, Gingrich, Gingrich, Gingrich: secret liberal

His sister is an HRC activist:
A lesbian, Candace her name
She says that his anti-gay stances
Are just fake political games
And privately he thinks that she's right
And it's fine when a priest weds two dames
Yes, Gingrich, Gingrich, is a secret liberal

I wonder if even Obama
Looks far-right when compared to this lad
Newt called Barack anti-colonial
As if that were something that's bad
I guess Newt hates old Thomas Jefferson
Who's anti-colonialism's dad*
Oh, Gingrich the Founder-hating liberal

Now Newt's a huge fan of Israelis
But I wonder if he's also aware
That the IDF lets open gays in
And the country has national health care
They're not very capitalistic
But that don't ruffle old Newton's hair
'Cause Gingrich, Gingrich, Gingrich: secret liberal

Oh Newt has got lots of ideas
He loves to think out of the box
But I thought the Right doesn't like that
Don't they like to tell history to stop?**
They prefer to keep things just the same way
And change, they don't like that a lot
So Gingrich, Gingrich, Gingrich is a liberal

And Newt is quite hardly a tightwad
A fiscal conservative, no!
He spent thousands of bucks on fine jewelry
"For Callista, with love from your beau"
And yet he thinks he'll win in Iowa
But I think he'll get pounded to dough
'Cause Gingrich, Gingrich, Gingrich is a liberal
*Figuratively speaking, of course. Weren't the US founding fathers essentially the founders of anti-colonialism? Many "Conservatives" claim to admire the Founding Fathers and what they stood for, but most of them probably would have been Tories and/or Redcoats had they lived back then, and would have been accusing Jefferson and Franklin of being unpatriotic, treasonous, seditious, etc.. The true heirs to the Founders' legacy are libertarians and independents, not "the right" (which ideologically is descended from the Tories) or the neocons. **"To stand athwart history, yelling Stop!" is the mission statement of the National Review. Again, hard to see Thomas Jefferson (who believed periodic revolutions were necessary to keep government from becoming too corrupt) or Ben Franklin reading a paper like that....

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Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 3

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