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Song Parodies -> "Oops! Oil for Food"

Original Song Title:

"Food, Glorious Food"

Original Performer:

Oliver (the musical)

Parody Song Title:

"Oops! Oil for Food"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

How would UN Secretary General Kofi Annan respond to the question, "Is the Oil-for-Food scandal a result of UN corruption or UN incompetence?"
Would the sanctions ever force
Iraq's thug to change his course?
All we ever saw was cruel!
Ev'ry day our case was pled
For Iraqis to be fed.
Still we saw Saddam act cruel!
So we compiled lists of victims:
Folks in pain, folks in need, folks who knew real heartache.
Then we came up with a program designed to give
These needy people a Kofi break ... through

Crude oil for food,
That was the objective.
That plan came unglued,
Our staff was defective.
Though we cannot fight a war,
The United Nations
Is still a great resource for
Ex - ploitation!

Ooh! Oil-for-Food,
We just couldn't say, "No."
Three kickbacks a day,
Our favorite cash flow!
Just give us a great big bribe,
Then we can collude
And we'll let you trade crude
For anything other than food!

Oops! Oil-for-Food,
My program's been busted!
I'm getting pooh-poohed,
'Cause I can't be trusted.
What I am abashed about?
Kojo, on the sly,
Got satchels of cash about
Six feet high!

Oops! Oil-for-Food
Might be my undoing
Because of what our
Kofi shop was brewing.
Our specialty was neglect,
We didn't intrude
When Saddam traded crude
For personal wealth, and not food!

Oops! There was no food,
And no medications!
Weak, maladroit, rude;
The United Nations
Was trying to wield some clout
Until we got tempted.
Then our ethics got checked out
And pre-empted!

Oops! Oil-for-Food
Was manipulated.
And Saddam's deceit
Got reciprocated
By friends from Russia and France
Who thought they were shrewd
When they gave cash for crude,
Kickbacks for crude,
Mansions for crude,
Limos for crude,
All this for crude, scandalous crude!
The Oil-for-Food program, run by the United Nations between 1996 and 2003, did little to ease shortages of food and medicine for Iraqis; and, instead, strengthened Saddam Hussein's chokehold on the nation and enabled him to accumulate $10 billion from oil smuggling and kickbacks. Among those implicated in the scandal are Kojo Annan (Kofi Annan's son), Benon Sevan (the UN executive director of the Oil-for-Food program), several Russian and French oil companies, and individuals in the governments of Russia, France, Indonesia, and Great Britain.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   3
 5   4

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well-written, JJ. BTW, "Great Britain" doesn't have a government as such, you're probably thinking of the United Kingdom.
John Jenkins - December 20, 2004 - Report this comment
You got me, Phil. I read that British MP George Galloway was on the list of those who might have received bribes and erroneously made the referrence to the non-existent British government. But I was glad that you did comment since you are the only author who has parodied the OS (and your "Food, Pre-Packaged Food" was very good).
Phil Alexander - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I'd watch what you say about George Galloway if I were you: he's just won 150,000 in libel damages from the Daily Telegraph for saying the same thing :-) I do try and spot songs to OSs that I've parodied to see what ideas other people have applied to the same songs; also, it *usually* means I know the original... thanks for the compliment.
John Jenkins - December 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, good point about Galloway. Because, I think, if he won a similar libel suit on our litigious side of the pond, he would get a lot more than 150,000.

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