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Song Parodies -> "Blow Me ('My Fair Fiddlegirl', Scene 12 of 16)"

Original Song Title:

"Show Me"

Original Performer:

My Fair Lady: Lerner / Loewe

Parody Song Title:

"Blow Me ('My Fair Fiddlegirl', Scene 12 of 16)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

If you have not yet read Scene 11, please read that Scene first.

If you missed the start of our parody of the entire musical on Wednesday, September 30, 2009, please enjoy it in order!

Scene 1 is here.
Scene 2 is here.
Scene 3 is here.
Scene 4 is here.
Scene 5 is here.
Scene 6 is here.
Scene 7 is here.
Scene 8 is here.
Scene 9 is here.
Scene 10 is here.

In our last exciting episode, Ms. DoFiddle's and Professor Turtle's first major team project, their parody of "American Pie", is a smashing success. However, the Professor -- sooo uncharacteristically -- seems to be claiming all of the credit for himself! Stung, Eliza stomps out of his cyberspace. When she returns, he starts in on her again -- but the Professor has a surprise in store. She flings his derisiveness back in his face, and demands to be made an equal partner. Uh-oh -- sparks are gonna fly....

Geek, she will never be; bull, flinging
I feel like wringing
Her neck for her words
Such flippant smart-ass! Hear her mumble
And whine and grumble
Fiddle, I'm so...

Words, words, words! Why's he such a nerd?
Sermonettes all day through
Telling me what to do
Should flip him the bird-- wouldn't you?

“Think you're a star? Learned quite enough?
"TT's too gruff?-- Show me!
“To be a team is your desire?
"Perfect: require-- know me!”

Lyrics vetting, shredding in the middle of the night
“Don't mix up stress, just write it right
"Anyone who's read my Pacing Tips'll tell you that!
"Maybe it's time for a chat”

“Put in ellips-...-es when you pause
"E-rase your flaws.” Slows me... Snows me!
“Ne-glectful of... metrical rhyme”
Thinks I'm an ungrateful cow
Ooooohhh... and how!

Sneers at my songs; calls them all crimes
“Don't waste my time-- pro: me!”
Rough-hewn, my tune; juvenile scrawl
No good at all! Woe, me!

Severs each endeavor; won't he cheer a single word?
There is no rule I haven't heard
If we wrote together, I know we could be a dream
But his critiques make me scream!

Think of his charms melded with mine
Keep me "in line"? Oh, me...Blow me!
Don't grate and drill, inking my lines
Team up with Fiddlegirl now
Make .... them "wowww!"

Will the Professor cave in? It wouldn't be like him, would it? Will Eliza recant? Can't she? Cant, she? Tune in to our next exciting episodes, and find out!

"American Pie" © 1971 Don McLean. All else © 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Admirable restraint in not going for the Ribberesque cheap laugh here. What you could have done with a title like that! ;D
alvin - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
uh oh...the plot thickens
John Barry - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Marvelous, magnificent. This project redefines magnum opus and tour de force for the site.
Timmy1000 - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
You go, FG! A team is two equal partners. Way to stand up for yourself. Again, this really captures all parts of the OS well.
Fiddlegirl - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
OMR: A lesson lately learned from Turtocrates... I'm sure TT can/will elucidate. :D

Alvin: Along with some other stuff of TT's, which I'm too ladylike to mention... ;)

JB: Wow-- Thanks! Heady praise indeed, from one whose magnum opi and tours de farce are too numerous to count! :D

T1K: Eliza wishes to thank you for your continuing encouragement and support! She is growing stronger every day. :)
Ribberesque cheap laugh .. maybe - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber:
TJC - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Another Homer-run! Yewe tewe can dewe newe wreweng!
Tommy Turtle - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Re FG comment, if you're interested, just ask. Thanks for v/c.

alvin: Indeed! thanks alvin.... @ FG @ alvin: OMG! The Professor has taught you *far* more than he suspected! :D Muah!

John Barry: What FG said, except that with all due respect to her (tremendous, of course), her few months on site require me to expand her reply exponentially, re your many magnificent masterpieces. I *still* remember from March 2006 one of your magnum opi, the "Vast Wasteland" series about television, which must have required grueling effort that continued even though relatively few readers followed. I did, each day, eagerly. I said to myself, "I want to write like that guy."

For those who want to see what true genius and magnum opi are like, here are the links to John's series mentioned above:

Not sure that we've redefined vs. those; perhaps in the "Broadway musical genre" only (not much competition), but to one who knows what JAB has done, praise of the highest order from the highest source. Humbly (for the first time in TT's life): thanks, John.

Timmy1000: Exactly! Thanks for following both parody and OM so well, and understanding so perfectly!

TeweJeweCewe: Homer? Ah, our next inspiration: a parody of "The Iliad"! Or maybe that's setting our sights too high. Perhaps just "The Ileum"? (a topic very popular here, esp, regarding its products.) Thewenk Ewe!
Christie Marie M - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(Applauds): As Alvin says, the plot thickens! It seems that the spark of friendship/teamwork between DoFiddle and Prof. Turtle had been doused! Prof. Turtle knows well that there is no "I" in team, yet he seems to want to take all the credit, as it's mentioned. On to your next act! 555 stars as always!
FG @ CMM: - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Prof Turtle will of course be anxious to point out that, although there is no "I" in team, the letters *can* be rearranged to spell "me"... ;) [Thx for v/c, chica!]
Timmy1000 - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
TT, your story line is really on point and flowing like a good story line should and well written on every one of the submissions. As a play should, you set up next scene well with the current one. No thanks needed - this is a classic.
Tommy Turtle - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: My presumptuous partner puts phrases in my pmouth. What TT *would* point out is that there is an *I* in "victory", and there are two "I"s in "winning". ... and of course, "team" can also be rearranged to spell "mate" (and "meat"... and "tame" heh heh. Tame my mate to mate my meat! :-D ... and thanks as always!

Timmy1000: But we're still grateful that you took time out of your day to read, vote, and comment. :)
FG @ TT - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Did I say *anything* about you in my comment to CMM? No. I was speaking specifically of Prof. Turtle, who, as we all know, is purely fictional. ;) xo
TT @ FG - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Ahh, the student correcting the teacher! Success! ... Amend comment to read "What the (purely fictional) Professor would have said is.. "

Hey, it's "my* character; I'll interpret it as I see fit ... and I've been building that character for, what, a little less than four years? ;) xo
blackjack21 - October 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Well blow me down, DoFiddle's had enough. Yeah, I'd flip him the bird, 555 times.
TT - October 11, 2009 - Report this comment
blackjack21: Flipping you back, 555 thanks. Would flip you the bird, but oddly enough, it's very hard to do that with a flipper. Strange ... you'd think having a flipper would make it easy to flip someone off... (goes off to ponder that for a while .... how Zen!) (how now, brown cow? how Zen, brown hen?)

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