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Song Parodies -> "You Did It ('My Fair Fiddlegirl', Scene 11 of 16)"

Original Song Title:

"You Did It"

Original Performer:

My Fair Lady: Lerner / Loewe

Parody Song Title:

"You Did It ('My Fair Fiddlegirl', Scene 11 of 16)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

If you missed the start of our parody of the entire musical on Wednesday, September 30, 2009, please enjoy it in order!

Scene 1 is here.
Scene 2 is here.
Scene 3 is here.
Scene 4 is here.
Scene 5 is here.
Scene 6 is here.
Scene 7 is here.
Scene 8 is here.
Scene 9 is here.
Scene 10 is here.

In our last exciting episode, Eliza DoFiddle has finally followed, and fallen for, Professor Turtle. They produce their first team effort, a modest parody, but it succeeds. Encouraged, Eliza exhorts the exalted Professor to collaborate with her on a "Big 7" parody she has started, but on which she has reached Writer's Blockhead: the dreaded "American Pie". The perennially-proud Professor eagerly agrees, and they dare to post the very next day their parody of it. Despite the close scrutiny of the despised Zodarn Pathetic, a megalomaniacal, wanna-be parodist who is not nearly so talented as he thinks he is, and spends most of his time writing fact-free rants and diatribes, it is a smashing success for the dramatic debut of the duo.

That night, Col. Nitpickering and the Professor celebrate, as Ms. DoFiddle sits by and watches, waiting for her kudos. But do her kudos ever kome?

By Chuck, TT, she did it
Your bidding; no kidding
She really tried to screw it
But TT, forbid!

I really thought she blew it
Redoubted debut, it
Thought she should be committed
But proceed, you did

You have shown such mettle
Should be King of AmIRight

Aren't I something?
Really something!

All alone, you tamed that little Fiddlegirl, contrite

I'm great; Five, rate
Good editor, it's true
But some of the stories came from you!
[indicating Nitpickering, disappointing Liza's expectations]

Infinitive, she split it
She did it; you bit it
From horrors, did you halt her
Made her worship at your altar
Though she pout about it
You......... did it!

The folks all raged and cheered tonight
As TT's rhymes, they'd all recite
Ever admiring contents of your skull

Shortly after it was up
I knew our cup, they'd sup from, and yup:
Each reader: "Phat!" My genius, they would mull

You should have seen the Fives, applause
Ev'ryone marveling: lack of flaws

You'd think they'd never seen perfection before

And when The Prince of Meg'lomania came to greet her
Tried to disarm new leader, all adore

I said to him, "The Fiddle --
"You diddled and twiddled"
She gave you so much static
But you're *so* darned charismatic
And ev'ry-one knew
That you... did it

TT: [spoken]
Gosh darn it, for Zodarn Pathetic
If it hadn't been for Fid, I'd have derided, scorned him

NP: [spoken]
Pathetic! That dreadful Parodian! Such hot air!

Yes, he was there all night, to get in his own licks

That a-hole, who thinks he's a parodist, smart
Total wack, who would kindle a fart
He makes up his mockeries, mostly of muck
But sought to know what makes DoFiddle pluck

Ev'ry rhyme, though so profound
On it, he would try to pound and criticize
Envy seething to the bone, vainly did he try, this drone, to witticize

All our lines derided—what a fool — he’s not half-worthy of one glance at her
But I stepped aside ... and let him prance for her

Oozing smarm that all abhor
He roiled his way toward Fiddle's score
Blessed with wit of bale of hay
He tried to rip Fid's fine display

A vote half-assed, a triple-One
Aglow, so smug at what he'd done
Though with an IQ meager,
Lacking style, but awed,
He pronounced to the posters
That she was ... unflawed!



Her pacing is too good, he said;
A skill that to her, clear-ly must be foreign
Whereas turtles are constructed: experts, native language,
Violinists aren't

And although she may have gone to college in the Ivy League, perhaps Bostonian
I .. can .. tell .. that .. she was trained ... Chelonian! [1]

[Raucous laughter]

Not only Chelonian, but His Royal Good
Yes -- by King Mydas! [1]

"Her rhymes," he said, "are truer than Pathetic's are or ever were
"Expertise is absolutely fitted in each line
"I thought my songs superior, but actually, they never were
"How could she receive more plaudits, numerous, than mine?"

"I know how parody, can fertile, be
"Her mind's as fertile and as grammarian as The Turtle be!"

Five ... Five ....... Fiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!

Congratulations, Professor Turtle
For your victory tonight!
Our salutations, Professor Turtle
You're the King of all AmIRight

And the credit for it all belongs to you!

Eliza's been sliza'd! The Fiddle: belittled, bespittled, bewhittled. What will she have to say to that? Tune in for our next exciting episode, and find out!

[1] "Chelonia mydas" is the Latin genus and species name of the green sea turtle, e. g., TT.

"American Pie" © 1971 Don McLean. All else © 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Don't tell me...she just shied her bow at you! ;D
alvin - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment rock, eliza
John Barry - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo my previous comments.
Timmy1000 - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
This is getting exciting. I wonder what next; I guess I'll see. Follows rhyme, pace and story of OS very well.
Fiddlegirl - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
OMR: Hehehe... No, but the proudly preening Professor *is* just this side shy of some sort of come-uppance! ;)

Alvin: Eliza says "Thanks, Alvin! So do you!!"

JB: And we echo our thanks, many times over. :D

T1K: Thanks! Take a break now, go to the lobby for some popcorn and Junior Mints, and meet us back here tomorrow!
There's another episode today, you nit - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
FG "meet us back here tomorrow!'

And miss #12? ... can teach 'em words, but math will remain forever a mystery...
FG @ TT - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Pfft... whatever. (( ))
TJC - October 07, 2009 - Report this comment
OK.... this was nuanced perfection... what more can I say?
Tommy Turtle - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Echoing FG's replies to all, except, of course, to Timmy1000, who is cordially invited to read Scene 12 today before meeting us back here tomorrow. :)

FG: Now, *that's* a clever, witty comeback if ever I've seen one! ZINGGGG! ....... (sheesh -- why does the poor Professor put up with this?)

TJC: Somehow, TJC always manages to think of more to say (much like TT heh heh), but actually, that was quite nice! Thank you! (Brevity, the sole of wit I had for dinner).
Christie Marie M - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(Applauds): Bravo, Ms. DoFiddle, and Prof. Turtle! Sorry I was absent yesterday on both your parodies! DoFiddle had improved greatly on her parody writing, thanks to Prof. Turtle! :) You two made a great team! 555 stars! Moving onto the next!
Tommy Turtle - October 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M, The Ever-Loyal: Thanks so much! We missed you, but glad to see you back! Always appreciate the applause!
blackjack21 - October 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Just how *does* the Professor tear himself away from the mirror each day? ;-D
TT - October 11, 2009 - Report this comment
blackjack21: With supreme willpower, no doubt. :-)

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