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Song Parodies -> "Super-Itchy Epidermis-Excavatin' Scabies"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Mary Poppins Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Super-Itchy Epidermis-Excavatin' Scabies"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

Some slang that some of you may not know:

Harley quack = Harley Street doctor
Wee = urinate
Manky = dirty and unpleasant
Whiffed = smelled horrible
Brolly = umbrella
Dodgy = risky; not good
Eejit = idiot
Blighter – a person who is regarded with contempt or irritation
Tallywacker (one of) & knacker (two of) = male genitals

It's…super-itchy epidermis-excavatin’ scabies
Even though it’s bothersome, it’s not as bad as rabies
Got a job at KinderSchool an’ passed it round to babies
Itchy like a mangy collie if you suffer scabies

I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye
I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye
I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye
I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye

I went to see a Harley quack…my genitals were red
I told him I’ve an itchy sack…an’ this is what he said:
“I have the stuff to do the trick…for what you get from hoes”
“An itchy dick is sorted quick…a fixer for your woes”

Oh…had to rub it ev’rywhere from neck to lower digit
Coz I’m such a big ‘un I used more of than a midget
If you have it bad enough, you're always bound to fidget
Got it from a nasty hooker by the name o’ Bridget

I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye
I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye
I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye
I diddle, diddle, diddle, I diddle, aye

I rubbed it all around myself…exactly how it’s meant
It did the job an’ I would say…that stuff is Heaven sent
Got drunk on margaritas…so I thought I’d make whoopee
I had another whore…an’ soon it hurt to have a wee

Oh…bonkin’ with a manky hoe: tequila I’d been swillin’
Even though she whiffed a bit, the grog had made me willin’
Rougher than an ursine butt, it wasn’t very thrillin’
Got a dose o’ clap an’ so I needed penicillin

Ow, piddle, piddle, piddle, ow, piddle, aye
Ow, piddle, piddle, piddle, ow, piddle, aye

You know, I heard of a legend where they…
Put a brolly needle in to extricate the knob pus
But that's going a bit too far, don't you think?

But when you get a dose o’ clap…there's no need for dismay
The clinic is on hand…for when you've had a dodgy lay
I wish I’d done it secretly…for it has wrecked my life
I’m an eejit (yes!)
Last night I went to sort it out…an’ took along the wife
Oh, an’ a crazy bitch she is, too

She's…super fit an’ pugilistic: used t’ be a fighter
She is so antagonistic: said, “You mucky blighter”
Then I almost lost a knacker coz she is a biter
An’ she burnt my tallywacker with a ciggie lighter

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - October 15, 2015 - Report this comment
Great title and the parody was just as good.
Patrick - October 15, 2015 - Report this comment
Wasn't this OS one of the old "Big Seven", back in the early days? Reminds me of a high school janitor who passed along to some of us boys the sordid tales of his days during the Korean War, which he spent mostly in a brothel in Tokyo. You bring back the explicit details of all the painful symptoms old Leon related. Especially the one with the needle. I could hear someone singing this as I read the lyrics. Well done.
Agrimorfee - October 15, 2015 - Report this comment
@ Patrick, The Big 7 were Supercali...,The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald, Be Our Guest, American Pie, Bohemian Rhapsody, Blinded By The Light, and The Major General's Song,
Leough - October 15, 2015 - Report this comment
Super phalli-tragedistic festival of jokeness!
Jonathan - October 15, 2015 - Report this comment
it's always amazing to me how someone can PARODY this song let alone make a HILARIOUS parody of it!!! 5's
Callmelennie - October 15, 2015 - Report this comment
The son is not that hard to parody -- once you overcome the hurdle of the title
Peregrin - October 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Andy, you can tell I have Ripley in me somewhere down the track can't you? I read the introductory notes and was thinking, yes, okay, right, (why am i being told this?), sure, etc etc :) Got every one of them. COLONIALS don't fall far from the tree :) Now, the parody, great Rhyme to the OT. The Brolly needle line had me wincing, as did the closer :)
Meridoc - October 18, 2015 - Report this comment
The diddle and piddle lines were especially inspired! :D
Andy Primus - October 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks all.
Peregrin - UK & Oz slang may be similar but a lot of people in the US don't know what I'm on about. I had this conversation in emails with both TT & Leough a while back. I made up a story almost entirely using UK (& London specifically) slang. They couldn't even get the gist of it. It might as well have been written in Swahili. I'll email it to you and see how you get on with it.
Peregrin - October 19, 2015 - Report this comment
Andy, I understand absolutely perfectly WHY you put in the opening comments! I shall say no more, lol. I look forward to your email.
Callmlellennie - October 19, 2015 - Report this comment
@Leough -- (LeOuL, ROughLMAO) ..... I dont normally rate comments, but yours deserves special consideration
Callmelennie - October 19, 2015 - Report this comment
I tried this OS twice, but I fell back on the crutch of repeating my title everytime "Supercali ..." showed up in the OS. You broke out of that pattern so kudos for you ...... One little twist you could have done; have the singer use Cockney-ese like he did in the movie -- "I rubbed it all around me-self; me genitals were red"

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