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Song Parodies -> "Super Convoluted Sales of Weapons Fast and Furious"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Mary Poppins Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Super Convoluted Sales of Weapons Fast and Furious"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

In 2009, the Justice Department’s Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (abbreviated ATF) implemented Operation Fast and Furious to track guns sold illegally in the United States and smuggled into Mexico through straw buyers for drug cartels, with the ultimate aim of building a case against the cartels. Two thousand guns were sold and 600 have been recovered. Many of the guns got into the hands of violent drug-runners and have been linked to the deaths of approximately 200 Mexican nationals and 2 United States agents. In Congressional investigations, Attorney General (AG) Eric Holder has been elusive in his responses to questions about his knowledge of this operation.
I used to think that governments
Would only go so far,
And that the plans they’d implement
Could not get more bizarre.

But then one day, when brains were blurred,
A strange new scheme arose,
The strangest scheme you ever heard,
And this is how it goes:

Super Convoluted Sales of Weapons Fast and Furious,
Even though the sound of it is something that should worry us,
The ATF unveiled it, and it became injurious,
Super Convoluted Sales of Weapons Fast and Furious.

Drug runners got guns - nobody knows why.
Drug runners got guns - nobody knows why.

To agents who uphold our laws,
This plan was ill-advised.
They warned their bosses of its flaws,
But they were compromised.

Illegal gun sales were allowed,
And when two agents died,
Authority was disavowed,
And knowledge was denied.

Supercilious AG – the King of Fast and Furious.
When details started to leak out, they made Congress curious,
But Eric Holder’s answers were very slow and spurious.
Supercilious AG – the King of Fast and Furious.

Um, did attorney gen’ral bumble and lie?
Um, did attorney gen’ral bumble and lie?

For films, Fast and Furious can be
Considered a success,
But for Homeland Security,
It’s simply one big mess.

Fast and Furious works for Netflix,
But not Security,
So let’s propose a Justice fix:
Vin Diesel for AG!

Campaigns to remove Holder are getting Fast and Furious
Because what he said to Congress seemed to be perjurious,
His next place of residence might not be so luxurious.
Campaigns to remove Holder are getting Fast and Furious.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Patrick - October 12, 2011 - Report this comment
I don't think "Fast and Furious" amounted to a conspiracy, either to deprive US citizens of their rights to acquire guns, nor to flood the US with more illegal Mexicans fleeing from violence. That would be to credit the Feds with foresight that they've never demonstrated before. (They will take advantage of the fallout from this operation to work toward both goals). All the ATF wanted was to be able to pose with a group of prisoners and a big pile of weapons. So called conspiracy buffs are simply people who could tell what the results of adding more guns to the arsenals of the drug cartels would be. The fact that the government was willing to sacrifice lives of government agents to achieve a photo-op is very disturbing.
Old Man Ribber - October 12, 2011 - Report this comment
John - This "spoonful of sugar" really helps the bad medecine go down. This parody is a cut above nice. Congrtats! ;D
AFW - October 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Your parody makes good sense...showing that sometimes the government works in "Missed-dreariest" ways
John Jenkins - October 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks for votes and comments.

Patrick, yes, I would not give too much credit for vision to the people who planned this.

OMR, Attorney General Holder might be dispensing a lot of spoonsful of sugar to try to keep his job.

AFW, I appreciate the pun and attitude. We will make a libertarian out of you yet!

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