Be-cause a voyeuristic culture is what we’ve attained
Real-i-ty shows are our lot—with lots of fleeting fame
But since these shows and flash-pan-ho’s are in 'one-ups-man’ ruts
Now Aston 's “Punking” Demi—up-skirt cam’ras on his putz!

And—
“Rock Star” stole Sanjaya from A.I. 'cause he sings purr-dy!
“Queer Eye” got that Pee Wee guy, to pimp their ride with 'flirty’!
“Blind Date” now hooks lepers up with poor-of-sight from Jersey!
Trump has cured his slump with boys 'Apprenticed’ to the clergy!

Dim-witty-nitty-witty!
Dim-witty—why?
Dim-witty-nitty-witty!
Dim-witty—why!

No show these days can pull big numbers with a premise tamed
You’ve got to loose-the-goose and prove to pundits you’ve got game
'Outrageous’ is the key, my friend, no subtlety or schmaltz
That concept’s gotta grab ol’ Neilson firmly by the balls!

Like—
“Quaker-Amish Smackdown!,” or there’s “Will It Burn With Matches?”
“Stalking David Spade” or “Mormons on Spring Break: Manassas”!
“Bludgeoning the Bachelor”, or “Statutory Backlash”!
“Survivor: Abu Ghraib”, hell, why not “Geriatric Jackass”!

Dim-witty-nitty-witty!
Dim-witty—why?
Dim-witty-nitty-witty!
Half-step up’s nigh!

Those—
Daters, hoaxers, hidden cameras and eliminations
Bane to Gen X, Y & Z but boon to corporations
Springer’s Idi-o-cracy—man, our next permutation?
That’s just grand—'cause cross the land we’ll ALL BE BLOOD RE-LA-TIONS!

~~~