~

“Be-cause a simple slip of tongue can snowball in the press
It seems a certain subject has the media ‘possessed’
I’m sure you’ve heard, some lefty turds link me with the ‘occult’
So now I’m forced to be wich youse to cast off their insults!”

I’m—
More-An-Activist-Enchantress-Than-a-'Blairish'-Witch, see
Sure, I’m into brooms n’ bats--but only ‘cause they’re kitch-y
Yes, I chain smoke ‘Salems’—like, without ‘em this babe's Bitch-y’
Fie yer Inquisition boys—my wand hand’s gettin' itch-y!

[ONE - eye - of - newt’ll - do—cauldron o’ beers!]
[ONE eye—of—Newt’ll - do—Gingrich in tears!]

No incantation, po-tion, curse, enchantment, hex or jinx
I’ve brewed can shake the press’s view: “This frickin' wiccan drinks!”
And anti-’fey folk’ diatribes I’ve made got wags to mock:
“Hey, nothing calls gay kettles black like all-girl coven ‘crocks’!”

My—
GOP-style Sorcery’s-Bewitching-’Bama’s-JuJu
Mean-as-Mel, these nasty spells this Senate Seeker’s stooped to:
Druid charms I made ripped Rahm’s then exposed Biden’s tu-tu
Tune in FOX (my vilest pox)—it’s made Pel’ seem *more* cuckoo!

[SHOCK – me – with - ‘Ox-ford-gate’(1)——FIC-tion-al - dude]
[LOCK knees - don’t - mas-tur-bate——FRIC-tion,- is - rude!]

Since—
Subbing ‘pot’ for henbane’s got more ‘high’ in my ‘high-jinxer’
Sure bet call this Pagan Pol’s a floater, not a sinker(2)
Still denounce me as a ‘witch’?—Yer timing surely stinks sir:
‘Muffed’ last spell—now waist down, hell—IT — SEEMS — I’M — HEN-RY — WINK-LER**!

~

**Within seconds, the new ‘Fonz’ half of her casts off their anti-masturbation stance...

(1). In resumes she has indicated she attended Oxford--subsequently debunked and withdrawn from her profile without explanation.

(2). A ‘no-win’ trial for accused witches, who were bound and thrown into water. It was believed the guilty floated while the innocent sank.