Bong hits an’ reefers: I wish they were lawful
Coz I can’t kip and insomnia’s awful
Sheep, if I’m counting ‘em, may ease the plight
Thinking of mounting ‘em just isn’t right

Tried sev’ral doctors who charge lots of wonga
“These pills and those pills will make you kip longer”
When they don’t work I will self medicate
Weed in a doobie will often sedate

When I’m so tired my head is all woozy
Restless in bed so I think of a floozy
Hoping my musing will send me to sleep
But I’m a perv, so it’s back to a sheep

First I chase her
Then debase her
Though I know it’s sad
It runs in the fam’ly to think of such things
I learned it from dear ol’ dad

Dad was a farmer and also sheep shagger
He used to stab ‘em with his mutton dagger
He had a tip that’d help him to play:
“Place ‘em in boots so they can’t run away”

My thoughts are boning a frisky Merino
Wife’s are of shagging a young Al Pacino
Maybe I’ll try boffing Little Bo Peep
Though I would rather do one of her sheep

Dreams of a young ewe in hard-core all-nighters
Much more relaxing than big sweaty fighters
Thoughts of Mike Tyson won’t put me to sleep
Much prefer ones with young Flossie the sheep

Oh, the night time
Is the right time
For these thoughts so bad
I’m simply a guy who has dreams of ewe flings
Or maybe a perv who’s mad