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Song Parodies -> "Bovine Sows"

Original Song Title:

"Both Sides Now"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Judy Collins

Parody Song Title:

"Bovine Sows"

Parody Written by:

Arwen & Mistress Leola

The Lyrics

Zee long-awaited follow-up to our previous collaborating, zee eenstant classic 'Always He Seem Vooden To Me, Yes?' http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/billyjoel180.shtml
I own a progressive farm
That causes purists some alarm
Though I don't understand the harm
In interbreeding beasts;
Take two strains and make them one,
Experiment and have some fun,
And you will never be outdone
At your Thanksgiving feasts!

I love to breed my bovine sows,
I milk my pigs and slop my cows,
Make snakes that fly and birds that crawl
You can't buy beefpork at the mall!

You may think I've lost my mind
But hens and foxes get on fine
Your scrambled eggs can be lupine --
The yolks are flecked with grey
And billy goats aren't always gruff
Espec'lly when they're bred with stuff
That comes from my old sheep dog, Ruff
The puppies bleat all day
I never thought I'd be the type
All wrapped up in genetic hype
Yes, you can scoff and shun it all
But will your own goat fetch a ball?

As for pets, I'd always found
I'm incomplete without a hound;
I've always found that pound for pound
There is no better friend.
But wife preferred her Siamese
And hounds made Choux-Choux ill at ease,
So my genetic expertise
Was put to useful ends

Now hear our new cat cry bow-wow!
Our kitty's bark's the dog's meow!
Aloof, yet loyal to a fault --
Don't mess with Spike lest you be mauled

Once when inspiration struck,
I bred my stallion with a duck,
The horse-sized egg, well it got stuck
(Lost a good bird that day...)
I re-tried with a smaller breed:
A shetland to replace the steed;
Now duck-quine swims, and when it feeds,
It waddles to the hay

My sweet hybrid menagerie
Is such a wondrous sight to see!
No breeding challenge is too small
Guess I can play God after all!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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alvin - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
you've turned a dreary tune into a funfest...my favorite of the day
Michael Pacholek - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Farm prices are at an all-time high. "Aloof yet loyal to a fault"? Just like Arwen herself.
Ann Hammond - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I sang
PMS - May 06, 2007 - Report this comment
One of my favorite barnyard ballads
Arwen - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Just wanted to drop in and, first of all, give a special thanks to the always wonderful Mistress Leola, for letting me join in on this one. I haven't been writing a lot lately...(to my dismay!)...but her idea was irresistable...and inspiring...much like she is...=)...! Alvin...thanks very much...=) It's always an honor to be somebody's favorite.

Michael...=) Oh, how well you know me. Thanks.

Ann...good! =)

PMS...well, that's something, isn't it? I'd be excited to hear the rest...; )
stuart mcarthur - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
"Our kitty's bark's the dog's meow" - LOL - excellent parody and great title sub - this OS has a beautiful rhythm - and I'm tipping "old sheepdog, Ruff" was of Arwenian origin - 555
Ash - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
You guys, this is so awesome! I'm secretly glad that I missed out...I never could have done anything this great. Leo, you need to start writing more often...you're a genius! And Arwen, you are as fabulous as ever. You guys kick ass!
Lee Oh - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone. Stuart, you are right, of course about Ruff being Arwenian. Actually, his full name is Ruffian Arountiegian. Often found snarling at the Turkey coop. Ash, thanks sweetie, but the "you should start writing again conversation..." goes both ways... fishpoopy.
Jeff Reuben - May 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Great stuff, even if it is a couple of bastards short =)

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