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Song Parodies -> "Jay"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

John Wesley Riles

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Jay, when Johnny Carson gave up the Tonight show
His old blackouts jarred our memory
Then you came along and kept it going
With your inspired ribaldry.
You always stumped 'em out Jaywalking
You got 'em with that photo booth
Jay, your last broadcast in the darkness was a gas
Jay, I'm aching 'cause I'm laughing watching you in downtown Burbank on my (slide whistle).

They cut off to a commercial
My digital clock says 12AM
Souped up autos and Viagra
Going through my ears and in my face again.
All those chuckles in your headlines
Split my rib cage with much laughs
Jay, the folks in the studio all agree
Jay, they're aching 'cause they're laughing watching you in Downtown Burbank on TV.

Kevin Eubanks - his orchestra are so awesome when they play
He's so baaad with funky jazz from Downtown Burbank, USA
Jay, you say that you're retiring and you're leaving NBC
I made videos of the most demented shows
Jay, they're living, yet they're dying to see you from Downtown Burbank 'till you go.

Politicians run for office
Look like they'd best be comedians
Sirens dressed in almost nothing are sincerely
Helping orphans in Japan.
I watched Ms. Jolie being righteous
You were fawning all over her
And Paul Newman ate some dog food from a can
Jay, I'm barfed out but I'm laughing watching you in Downtown Burbank from my den.

(repeat chorus)

Then one joker poured some skunk stink
On a piece of paper simply for a joke
Kev kept cussing through the bleep sounds
(Bleep) I'll leave this scene, it's so bad I could puke.
Jay, you hosted some strange creatures
Animals and humans, too
But those darling tiger cubs were real stars
Jay, we're dying 'cause we're laughing watching you from Downtown Burbank from the bars.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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Stan Hall - November 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Fives for a funny and,as always, well-written parody birdman. Must admit, tho', I mostly abandoned Tonight early on in the Leno era, but then none of his successors ever quite adequately replaced the multitalented Steverino ("Smock! Smock!") for this old Allen fan. :-)

BTW, about 1976 I had coffee w/ Jay Leno at about 2am in a Framingham, MA Hot Shoppe after closing down his standup/songmeister show at neaby Liam's Tavern. Long story short, he'd had his eye on an undeniably toothsome young woman who's been part of my large group at the tavern and, recognizing a few of us of when he walked into the coffee shop, plopped down at our table to ask about her. Unluckily for Jay, she'd at the time just emerged from a bad breakup and ranked men, generally, somewhere south of dining on dog-do. :-)
TR - November 28, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't get the (slide whistle).
2Eagle - November 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, TTT, Stan and TR. Stan, the above lyrics explain why I continue to watch the Tonight show - especially on Mondays when Headlines is on. He gets plenty of wacky, but real, newspaper clippings. One was a wedding announcement with McMaster - Bates. (I'm not making this up.) I found a headline in The Daily News that read "Valley Pooh Pooh's Diaper Recycling Program", but that one never made it. TR, the slide whistle is a bleep sound. Can't you think of a naughty word that rhymes with gas?
TR - December 08, 2008 - Report this comment
You're right, I guess I overlooked that, my bad. But in today's world, does it really matter?

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