A Caped Crusader heading out
one dark and windy day.
Upon a sidewalk rested
a tale that won't go away.
Yes, all at once a tabloid word
and red eyes, burned with rage.
The Gotham Post had tagged this guy
and sidekick on its page.

His breath was still on fire.
"Why can't they slime the Man of Steel?"
He headed back to the old
Batcave and asked, "What's the deal?"
A bolt of fear goes through crooks
when he thunders through the sky.
But those tabloid writers writing hard
inspired this mournful cry:

"Whaddayou know?
Whaddayou say?
Post readers, we're... not gay!"

Their faces red, their eyes were masked
their costumes soaked with sweat.
And Alfred says, "Master Bruce, sir,
you haven't sued them yet."
But Batman can't appear in court
with Robin by his side.
'Cause then they've have to drop their masks
to prove the paper lied.

"Whaddayou know?
Whaddayou say?
Post readers, we're... not gay!"

The Crusaders moped on by 'til
idea came to Bruce Wayne.
"If we want to save our reputation
and reclaim our manly name
we'll have to get a better story wrote
from friend in Metropolis."
And Dick Grayson said, "Holy fruit! Not Clark.
It's safer if it's by Lois!"

"Whaddayou know?
Whaddayou say?
Post readers, we're... not gay!
Post readers, we're... not gay!
Post readers, we're... not gay!"