There once was a musical troupe.
An all-American rock group.
Each of them loved music
and so they formed a band.
They had great musical ability.
They thought they would stand tall.
But musical incompatibility
led to their downfall.

'Cause the one on the right was a country boy
and the one in the middle, he was a punk
and the one on the left liked heavy metal
and the guy on the drums...

liked the Smiths.

This musical aggregation
caused some aggravation
Their format disagreein'
gave them a mixed-up brand.
They had great virtuosity.
Soon they were the rage.
But cross-musical animosity
knocked them off the stage.

'Cause the one on the right wore a Stetson hat
and the one in the middle, he spiked his hair
and the one on the left used AquaNet
and the guy on the drums...

got highlights.

The curtain had arisen.
The crowd, they were a-buzzin'.
Seeing a special concert
was what they all had planned.
But the band was yelling and crying
venting spleen and gall
and soon the fists were flying
they had a free-for-all.

And the one on the right was on the bottom
and the one in the middle was on the top
and the one on the left got a broken nose
and the guy on the drums...

said, "Oh, stop it, chums!"

Now let this be a lesson
if with music you're messin':
Pick only one format
if you want to start a band.
Use the same stuff as a reference.
Play your guitar well.
And if you got some musical differences
keep 'em to yourself.

Now the one on the left works in a bank
and the one in the middle drives a truck
and the one on the right runs an all-night diner
and the guy on the drums...

got killed in Iraq.