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Song Parodies -> "Rings Quagmire"

Original Song Title:

"Ring of Fire"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Rings Quagmire"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Love can make you so mean
when you spend it on Tolkien.
Bound by a strange desire
you seek to put the ring in the fire.

I fell into a Lord of Rings quagmire
fell down, down, down, and I now must inquire
"Why these turns, turns, turns to the Rings quagmire? The Rings quagmire?"

They say the books are sweet
can't wait for the films complete.
This life they have compiled
may just make them reviled.

I fell into a Lord of Rings quagmire
fell down, down, down, and I now must inquire
"Why these turns, turns, turns to the Rings quagmire? The Rings quagmire?
Why these turns, turns, turns to the Rings quagmire? The Rings quagmire?
The Rings quagmire? The Rings quagmire?"
I realize I'm risking a lot of capital in taking a shot at the Ring Cycle (and I don't mean Wagner or Stallone), but...In the immortal words of William Shatner, "Get a life, will ya, people?" It's not like it's "Star Trek," or "Star Wars," or even "Doctor Who"! Must those of us not in the fellowship each be a "Prisoner" to these Tolkienian parodies? We are bored of the rings! (Still, it beats whoever rewrote "Lady Marmalade" for Claudia Christian. I just never got "Babylon 5," and I've never even seen "Blake's 7.")

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   2
 3   0
 4   4
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Harvey - March 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Why condemn Lord of the Rings when there are so many things that are much worse in our culture? I'm glad a book that is several thousand pages long is more popular than some piece of garbage fad. I'm sorry you find the new wave of LOTR parodies boring. I'm a huge Tolkien fan. I'm in the midst of the Silmarillion right now. I love the world he creates in his books, and I happen to find inspiration in them. Inspiration has come from worse places. By the way, I did not vote on this parody. I don't know the song.
Rice Cube - March 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Ooooooooh, fightin' words, John. Star Trek is KING! 8-) I don't know the original song, Mike, but hey, when everybody was parodying sk8erboi or Iraq or whatever, I didn't hear that much of a rancor, did you? ;-) Just let us enjoy our fun.
Pan the Frog - March 24, 2003 - Report this comment
If you are bored of the ring's hype you might want to check out the book "Bored of the Rings", a parody of the books written long ago.
Michael Pacholek - May 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Rest in peace, June Carter Cash, 1929-2003. One of the top singers in country music history in her own right, though often outshone by members of her own family, both by blood (the Carter Family, her daughter Carlene Carter) and by marriage (Johnny and Roseanne Cash). She co-wrote "Ring of Fire," the fantastic song on which this parody is based, with Merle Kilgore, in 1963 for her eventual husband. Hard to believe, since Johnny has been in such ill health the last five years or so, and she looked OK until the end, that she went first. She was 73 and he's 71, but she looked 63 and he looks 100. With Helen and Anita having preceded her, the Carter Sisters sing together again, but considering what June meant to Johnny, it's easy to believe he'll be joining them soon. Let's not forget the great performances the Cashes gave on "The Johnny Cash Show" on ABC, 1969-71, bringing country music to the masses like nothing else had in the days before cable TV. The Cashes also appeared on three episodes of "Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman." Johnny, in a non-speaking role, played a Klingon in a ceremony simulation on "Star Trek: The Next Generation," zapping Worf with a pain-stick. (Some honor: One of the other simulated Klingons was John Tesh.)

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