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Song Parodies -> "My Rocks Feel Fine"

Original Song Title:

"I Walk The Line"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"My Rocks Feel Fine"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Before the sexual revolution, teens had to heed songs like Frank Sinatra's "Love and Marriage", while newlyweds were guided by Johnny Cash to be faithful to each other. But boys were boys, and as Bill Cosby taught, sometimes one body part took control. Return with me now to those spilling ways of yesteryear.....
I keep a growth watch on this part of mine;
Why sleep? My thighs slide open, all's fun-primed.
Don't need to spend loot for some prize behinds;
It was sure fine, my stalk's design.

I find it very, very easy to renew;
I bind myself, alone when each day's through.
Yes, I'll admit I'd rather pull than screw.
'Twill cause you blind, wise talkers whined.

As soon as night is dark, ere day is light,
I leap to squander mind, go play sans sight;
And happiness I've known proves that it's right.
Brief pause, decline; I balk, supine.

I've got a Playboy, keep it as tour guide;
It gives me cause for love that I can't hide.
Poor youths' eyes grow, might even try to turn aside.
My jaws chew, grind; my Jockeys bind.

Fight sleep, can't doze, watch as the stars oft shine;
I keep my eyes wide, hopin' all the time.
My heap extends out o'er the fly, unwinds;
Applause, resign. My rocks feel fine!

"Backward, turn backward, O Time, in your flight. / Make me a child again, just for to-night!" -- Elizabeth Allen

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - September 25, 2015 - Report this comment
In the last line, "recline" is better than "resign" to express relaxation after success.
Jonathan - September 25, 2015 - Report this comment
I'd pay Cash to have this on CD! what else can I say? It Rocks! 5's
Jim Handy - September 25, 2015 - Report this comment
It's often said here that parodies can be on any subject. But surely, there are the matters of good taste and judgment. By those standards, a vivid description of compulsive masturbation doesn't make the cut.
AFW - September 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Taking a good whack at a touchy, feely subject.. But I don't think anyone will go blind reading it...And this isn't a G-rated site, is it? 555 strokes
Jim Handy - September 26, 2015 - Report this comment
AFW, it has something to do with class. You wouldn't understand.
Job Handy - September 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Odious onanism spills over into egregious exhibitionism.
Jack handy - September 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Which is then cattily criticized by arrogant alliteration
Rex - September 26, 2015 - Report this comment
Filth not worthy of a talented parodist. 1-1-1
You Suck - September 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Only pervs get their jollies off of beat the censor crap like this. Nothing praise worthy at all. 111 condemnations.
Barry J. Mitchel - September 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jonathan, AFW & the other 2 "pervs" who voted 555. The 333 could go either way, AC or DC.

Yes," You Suck", I did "beat the censor" by changing the word subs from my original draft for "close watch", "heart of", "all" & "walk" in the first stanza of the OS. This is a true "parody" in that it turns on its head the OS that claims the writer's absolute fidelity to his wife while on long entertainment tours away from her, similar to the extended absences of truck drivers, railroad, cruise ship or airplane crews, etc.

I apologize to JH3, Jh & Rex for this offense. I needed to "try my hand" at something non-political.
Patrick - September 28, 2015 - Report this comment
One of the signs of a good parodist is the ability to deal with a potentially risque subject without resorting to profanity and graphic descriptions. This is done in good humor. I am not a particular fan of the genre, but as bawdy songs go, it is not offensive.
Barry J. Mitche - November 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks, Patrick; I should have replied sooner. Now I'd change "myself, alone" to "my selfish bone" in line 6.

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