(Fruit...nuts, shoots, seeds, corn)

Ev'rybody's squawkin' about
Cabbages, radishes, cantalopes
Escarole, coconuts, watercress
Grim dishes, sad dishes
Vicious, vicious, vicious

All-vegan's crazy, let's give meat a chance
All beef and gravy, let's live, eat and dance
(C'mon)

Everybody's wok is out
Gettin' stirred, mixed with herbs, shallots, ferns, and grass and worse
Squished up (and) dished up (and) slab-sized but not prized
(And) guys sigh, guys cry

All we are craving is rib meat, enhanced
All beans, we're waiving, they rip seams in pants
(You can smell it now)

Ev'rybody's hawkin' (it) out
Resolutions, substitutions, affirmations, agitation
Respiration, mictu-ration, defecation, you might have achin'
And flatu-lation

All-vegan's fading (meat talking), let's mix beans with franks
How we're crusading, get fridge free of plants
(Oh, we're sick of grits)

Ev'rybody's walkin' (a-)bout
Chops a-smokin', kidneys searing, roast baking, swans a-buttered, sausage grillin',
Stocky soup with varied flavors, organs savored, all with giblets, hearty dishes
Hearty, hearty dishes

All vegans slay me, let's nix leeks and yams (c'mon, c'mon, c'mon)
All vegans hate me, let's rid meals of plants
All meat is tasty, let's give meat a chance
Call me just crazy, let's live, eat and dance