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Song Parodies -> "Bigfoot John"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Bigfoot John"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

For Spaff. By the way, I'm a size 12. If the rest of me was as big as my feet... well, let's not do an "Edmund Fitzgerald" joke this time.

Every morning in the woods, you could see him arrive.
He stood eight-foot-six, and weighed five-forty-five.
Kinda broad in a shoulder and narrow in the brain
and everybody didn't need for me to explain.


Bigfoot John.


Pacific Northwest is where John calls home.
He's just covered all in hair from his toes to his dome.
He doesn't say much, don't matter anyway.
And if I speak at all, I say, "What you say, Bigfoot?"

Somebody said he went to a Blazers game
where he got into a fight, that's a real damn shame
and a crashing blow from a huge right hand
sent Rasheed Wallace off to that Detroit land
from Bigfoot.


Bigfoot John.


Then came the day at the bottom of the hill
when an avalanche buried our old mill.
Lumberjacks stood there, so aghast
and everybody thought that they'd worked their last.
Their jobs gone.

From the dust and smoke of that rocky hell
walked a giant ape-man that the 'jacks, they knew well.
He musta been bionic, it was wild, boy
how he moved every boulder like it was a toy
'til they're gone.


Bigfoot John.


And with all of his strength he tossed them rocks aside
and a lumberjack said, "I'm mystified!
I heard twenty men went to a painful grave
when they went to take a picture in the rumored cave
of Bigfoot."

Them 'jacks, they wondered, were they all wrong?
Was Bigfoot good, not bad all along?
They bought him beer 'til closing time.
Everybody sings his praises in this rhyme
for Bigfoot.


Bigfoot John.


Now, we renamed their favorite bar in a bit.
A sign, "The Sasquatch Club" on top of it.
These few words are written, posted high:

"At the bottom of this bar is a drunk, great guy: Bigfoot."


Bigfoot John!


Bigfoot John!

(fade out)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Had some big shoes to fill here. I liked it.
alvin rhodes - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
best one i've read today...5s
AFW - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
This is excellent in all respects...
John Barry - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Big Fives.
Stuart McArthur - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
loved it, but especially the pithy last line - and reading it with a drawl makes it even better - 555 - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
You dedicate this to me and it takes me four months to get here? Well, Sas-sqash me into the ground! The timing worked out just right, though; I just found the OS so that I could rate Johnny BD's SOTM entry about Bigfoot John Paul II. Nice job, Michaelopedia. I particularly like the Blazers game verse and, like s2art, the "drunk, great guy" line. Five big toes.

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