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Song Parodies -> "Big Dumb Don"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Big Dumb Don"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

As they used to say on "Match Game," Dumb Donald is SO dumb! (How dumb IS he?) He's so dumb, he thought it would be easy to repeal and replace Obamacare! In fact, he's so dumb, he thought being President was easy. After all, he's the master of "The Art of the Deal"! He's the world's greatest negotiator! Turns out, Dumb Donald is SO dumb, he can't even negotiate a bill through a House of Representatives with a 44-vote margin in his own party's favor! He already failed to negotiate a deal with Mexico's President to pay for his beloved wall. I'm beginning to think that Dumb Donald is SO dumb, he couldn't negotiate a highway curve!
(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )

Every morning at the White House, see him arrive.
He stands 6-foot-2 and weighs 345.
Kinda broad in the lying and narrow in the hands
and everybody knows there's lots of demands
from Big Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )

Big Dumb Don.

(Big Don... )

The Borough of Queens is where Don called home.
Now Melania's in the Tower, leaving him all alone.
He says a whole lot, wish he was quiet and shy.
And if you speak at all, you should say, "Goodbye"
to Big Don.

Somebody said he came with Russian help.
Unlike Don, Vlad's content with hairless scalp.
And a hacking blow from some Slavic hand
kept the Illinois lady from the Promised Land
for Big Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )

Big Dumb Don.

(Big Don... )

Then came the day, he said, "Victory's mine!"
He rolled the dice on Speaker Paul Ryan.
Pundits were slobberin', hearts beat fast.
They thought Obamacare's repealed at last
by Big Don.

Bit the dust, this joke of a bill that was hell
and the giant of a jerk that we all knew well
grabbed his sagging ratings, gave out with a grown
and said, "Sad, Paul Ryan, yer on yer own"
said Big Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )

Big Dumb Don.

(Big Don... )

And with all of his strength, he boarded his plane
and he jetted off for Florida again!
And 20 men scrambled for his Twitter feed
and Ryan took the fall for this failure to lead
from Big Don.

The hacks and tinders of this bad-haired clown
may yet put his Presidency in the ground.
Smoke and gas belch out of his bod.
Pretty soon, he'll know that he ain't no god
this Big Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )

Big Dumb Don.

(Big Don... )

You should never have allowed this worthless twit.
His campaign spiel, shoulda stayed away from it.
When he dies, these words we'll write on his stand:

At the bottom of this tomb
lies a small, small man.
Big Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )

Big Dumb Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )
Big Dumb Don.

(Big Don... )
(Big Don... )
Big Dumb Don.
(repeat 'til fade)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   12
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   19

User Comments

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John Jenkins - March 27, 2017 - Report this comment
From my perspective, this parody makes more sense than any of your other political parodies. Very well done, MP.

Maybe you meant groan, not grown?
AFW - March 27, 2017 - Report this comment
I agree with John, excellent redo...great political humor and something that should be considered colorful and funny by red or blue.
Rob Arndt - March 27, 2017 - Report this comment
555 for the parody and good humor!
Patrick - March 27, 2017 - Report this comment
Great work at pacing and sound matching. I could hear this one in my head as I read it. As long as we conservatives don't lose our sense of humor, we will win in the end. I bet Donald Trump would like it.
Conspiracist - April 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Big Dumb Don isn't so dumb. If you wanted to deflect and deter the investigation of Russia and the Trumpistas colluding in influencing the last election, what would you do? You'd cook up a Kabuki drama in which the Administration is deeply moved and chagrined by the very very barbaric and horrible behavior of a client state of Russia against its own beautiful babies. You'd throw a few firecrackers at the offender's airfield. Russia is shocked, shocked at the violation of its client's sovereignty (muffled giggle), and declares that relations between the two nuclear powers are very disastrously destroyed. That gives the lie to collusion and restores the appearance of conventional mutual hatred. Flynn and Manifort and Nunes get the day off at CNN and MSNBC. The whole narrative of Russian interference in the election is silenced. Russia may have arranged the sarin attack itself, for just this purpose! Bannon is offered up as sacrifice. (That's easy, I will tell you that — he resisted the required dark suit, white shirt, and bright tie.) Once again, Trump manipulates the news cycle. Who told me about this? Jared Kushner's 4-year-old son, who has the Russia portfolio at his fantastic pre-school, believe me.

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