I'm gonna' tell ya' all a story 'bout the time I'd been a naughty boy
One night I went bar hoppin' and I had a little too much tipsy joy
Met a lady, danced a while and when our lips were locked
Her tongue slipped thru..
She said how'd you like to leave here, pal, and harp my valley PDQ ?

Her name was Sally Jones and she was squirmin' in a skirt could fit a child..
I'd been smokin' pot and drinkin' and a-foolin' round with her..just gettin' wild
We're both drunk as a skunk, and yet her proposition sounded like the truth.
So we hopped in a yellow cab to harp her valley PDQ'th

When we got to her apartment..she says hang here while I dress more comfortable
So's, I poured myself a drink, cuz' the time is draggin', gettin' dull
By my second Marguarita she came slinkin' through the door..dressed peek-a-boo
And said, Handsome, time for beddie bye, let's harp my valley PDQ..

Well I said before we do that, let's just have another Marguarita drink
She said, okay, Hoss, but hurry, I am starting to get anxious for your mink
Then with a quick whirl and a winkin' eye, she strolled up to the bar in her lace gown
Mentally, my eyeballs reached and pulled her tiny scant outfit completely down

We chug our drinks, and I bare hug her, while she leads me to her sexy room a' sin
Puff a couple quick Binaca sprays to make sure that my breath is sweet again
But as the door is opened up, ten big vice cops rush out and knock me flat
They was hidin' in a waitin' place, they cuff me, read my rights, and that was that

Confiscated, too...my bag a' weed and said that Judge McBook would see me in a few
Police Department of Quebec..has a little different spin on PDQ

Yeah, Police Department of Quebec.. was why that decoy babe said PDQ..

(Whoaaa...)