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Song Parodies -> "Countin' On Glove"

Original Song Title:

"Mountain of Love"

Original Performer:

Harold Dorman

Parody Song Title:

"Countin' On Glove"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Yes, this parody is connected to sports. No, not to the one you think. Has it really been 25 years, a quarter of a century, since the most famous murder case in American history began? (Well, technically, the JFK assassination never became a "murder case," because the defendant was killed right after his arraignment.)
(instrumental opening)

Standing on a dragnet, saying, "This is the city."
The way this played out is a doggone pity.
Thought I had the evidence to win for my side.
Turns out I didn't, and now some people cried.
I used to be so happy, I thought it was enough.
Why was I countin' on glove?

Day after day, I've been sitting on the stand
at the L.A. courthouse, for law's demand.
Hoping F. Lee Bailey thinks I'm telling true.
Hoping that I'm not the reason case, they blew.
Tried so hard to find it, to give the verdict shove.
Why was I countin' on glove?

I'm countin' on glove
I'm countin' on glove
I should be ashamed.
Seemed right to be
be countin' on glove
but gained wrong kind of fame.

Out on the street, there's a half a million people
telling Chris Darden that his case was feeble.
Inside the court, everybody is mockin'.
The glove wasn't fittin', be acquittin', says Cochran.
That's why he's "not guilty," a verdict false and rough.
Why was I countin' on glove?

I'm countin' on glove
I'm countin' on glove
I should be ashamed.
Seemed right to be
be countin' on glove
but gained wrong kind of fame.

Out on the street, there's a half a million people
telling Chris Darden that his case was feeble.
Calling me a racist, saying, "You suck, Furhman
you're guilty of perjury, you should keep on squirmin'!"
That's why I write "true crime," had to leave cop job I loved.
Why was I countin' on glove?
Why was I countin' on glove?
Why was I countin' on glove?
Why was I countin' on glove?
(repeat 'til fade)

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - April 29, 2019 - Report this comment
The testimony of one of the investigators was discredited because of alleged racist remarks he was alleged to have made years earlier in an unrelated case. In order to avoid contaminating the evidence, Simpson was wearing plastic or rubber gloves when trying on the leather gloves. Of course, they wouldn't fit. Simpson was reported to have purchased a large stiletto knife before the murders. I don't think that particular knife was capable of inflicting the type of damage I heard about. But Simpson had just finished a never-released movie in which he carried a Navy SEAL knife that could inflict those kinds of wounds. When O.J. tried to take back a collection of memorabilia he had hidden with the Las Vegas dealer to keep Ron Goldman from getting it, it gave the Nevada prosecutors the chance to "correct" the "mistake" they thought the California jury had made. Has it really been that long? I remember when everyone at my office stopped to listen to the verdict. Of course, we had only gotten the nightly news summary. A friend who was able to watch the whole trial said the prosecution never proved their case. How quickly time flies.
2Eagle - April 30, 2019 - Report this comment
First the Los Angeles riots ~ then O.J. ~ it seems like only yesterday.

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