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Song Parodies -> "Calgary Spineman"

Original Song Title:

"Wichita Lineman"

Original Performer:

Glen Campbell / Words and Music by Jimmy Webb

Parody Song Title:

"Calgary Spineman"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

The Canticle of The Canadian Cop Chiropractor ...
I am a spineman for the Mounties
And crime-fighting pain blows

Searchin' with my thumbs for another source of woe

I hear them screamin' as I pry 'em
I can hear boo-hoo's and whines

But the Calgary Spineman
Will drill on their spines

Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow
Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow
Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow, ow-owww...

I know my Chief's got subluxation
What dislocation pain!

So here it goes, I'll stretch 'round 'bout bones levered and restrained

And I knead you sore and gaunt dudes
And I haunt you for my dime

And the Calgary Spineman
Will drill on your spine

Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow
Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow
Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow, ow-owww...

(instrumental)

And I knead you more than taunt you
But I'll taunt you for my dime

'Cause the Calgary Spineman
Will bill for his time!

Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow
Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow
Ow-ow! Ow-ow! Qw-ow! Ow-ow!
Ow-ow, ow-owww...

(instrumental)
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0
Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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  0
  
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
  4
  4
  

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice mixing of gentle music to not so gentle subject. 5's
John Barry - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
"Subluxation." Sublime. L5s for you.
Johnny D - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Adagio and JB.
Leo Jay - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
That was bitchin'! All fives, man.
Michael Pacholek - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
This sounds like one of Guy's when he's really on. You got a lot of nerve. Must've been backbreaking work.
Jack Wilson - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Meriadoc - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait a minute - Calgary doesn't rhyme with Wichita... ;-)
Johnny D - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Leo Jay: Thank you, man!

Michael: Now that's a compliment, dude! Thank you!

Jack: Thanks!

Merry: No, but the syllables have the same accentuation!
Cookie-man - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'd like to give this song a snap (5) a crack (5) and a pop (5)! Great job! :)
Johnny D - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Cookie-man!
Michael Pacholek - July 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I just realized that "Regina" (REJ-in-a, not re-JY-na), Saskatchewan, would be closer to "Wichita," but it's too late now. And who's the guy with the slipped disk in his brain that only gave this all fours? Don't you know chiropractic makes perfect?
Johnny D - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks again, MP.
alvin rhodes - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
a parody with a lot of backbone...5s....hate the original song
Johnny D - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin.
Paul Robinson - November 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, JD...found this while checking other "Wichita Lineman" parodies...5's...
Matthias - October 25, 2006 - Report this comment
You'll Do-Right Johnny D, This parody was no Dud..... Ley
tomario - October 25, 2006 - Report this comment
chiro-practically bone crunching fun -555
bobpiecheese - November 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon - Event 6) At the start, I was confused about the topic...but then I understood it...and shat my pants. Awesome job, D-man (as usual)!
Josh 2 - November 05, 2006 - Report this comment
lol, seemed slightly repetitive but otherwise good, 5s
Stuart McArthur - November 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(decath6) fine JD twist on Jimmy Webb's OS - I'd like to see you do "By The Time We Get To Bamff" next, or "Vancouver Park" with all that BC icing flowing down - 555
Kristof Robertson - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
(DEC6) What an inventive mind you have, Mr Small! Two careers I would NEVER have thought of putting together...cool. 555
Jeff Reuben - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Well done...not as many lyrics to work with, but a good job for the OS
Arwen - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Decathlon...I don't really know why, but even though some people swear by them, I've always been deathly afraid of Chiropractors. Just the thought of going to see one makes me nervous. This really didn't help my irrational fear much, JD...but at least it made me giggle. Nice work!

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