How do they do colonoscopy?
I'll tell you how
Put a tube in intestinally
And you holler "Ow"

How do they inspect 'em rectally?
I'll tell you what
Hold your nose, take a hose and it goes
Right into your butt

They say that they have to look in there
Check for polyps
Maybe worse-oh
But it's hard to be suave and debonair
When you do the wrong kind of
Hittin' on the nurse---So

Why do they do colonoscopy?
I'll tell you true
It's so doctors can buy a new car
As they give it to you

(loud organ solo)

The procedure may be somewhat extreme
On the good side
No incision
On the bad side you go into a dream
One where you have somehow
Gone to prison

Why do they do colonoscopy?
I'll tell you true
It's so doctors can buy a new car
As they give it to you

It's so doctors can buy some new clubs
As they give it to you