And now
My end, I fear
Must go and face
The vinyl hurtin'

My end!
My sacred rear!
I'll take a case,
Of K-Y squirtin'

I've lived
A life that's full
I've reveled nights, stayed up and flossed late

I'm sore...so sore can't piss...
Must be my pros--tate!


Hemm'rhoids
I've had a few
Butt then again
Too rude to mention

I sat
When I had to poo
And jaw grit too
With bowel distention

I crammed
Steamed heart of horse
Each mare full-prepped
Upon a hot-plate

Now sore...so sore can't piss...
Blame it on pros--tate!


Yes, there were times
In years of youth
When I'd bitch and moan
And be uncouth

Budweisers tall
And Guinness Stout
I drank 'em up
And pissed 'em out

I face the wall,
These words I scrawl ---
"Dammit, my pros--tate!"


I'm gloved
I'm probed inside
My gland feels full
I fear it's oozing

And now
My doctor sighed,
"You might drip, so, don't go boozing!"

I drink
I piss and pass
My plumbing is --- in such a raw state!

It's no-go when I pee...
My wicked pros-tate!


For what's in a man,
Inside his butt?
This stupid gland,
Like a walnut!

Makes him say things
He truly feels!
When urine spurts,
He grunts and squeals!

Doc's record shows --- this walnut grows ---
My swol-len pros-tate!